7 Enemies of Orgasm

In this list, I will show you 7 villains that hinder a quality orgasm. Overcoming these difficulties can provide a fuller sex life, which reverberates in various aspects of life. 

Tantra is a practical, corporal therapy that helps the individual to recognize and overcome all these difficulties.
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1-) Lack of Connection

The connection with the other is essential for a quality orgasm. It may seem obvious, but the lack of connection is more common than you think.
Come to think of it, do you really have sex or are you just masturbating to someone else's body? It doesn't matter if you have a long-term partner, or if you are meeting someone, connection is essential for empathy, admiration, and focus in the present moment.
The connection can be initiated with a good conversation, with affinities, but the most important is the look. Have you tried looking at your partner in the eye for a few minutes? Do the test! Try looking at your partner, eye to eye, for a few brief minutes. At first it can be challenging, but it is amazing how looking reveals much more about each other than any word. Let's connect? Connection opens the door to vulnerability, delivery and trust, so it is a great ally for a quality orgasm.

2-) Lack of Affection

Affection is essential for the body to start preparing for sex. Kisses, hugs, touches that make you shiver, nibbles, and the whole repertoire of foreplay that our body knows how to do.
Affection opens the door to access the body. Shall we open that door? Affection greatly influences the quality of orgasm. Do not underestimate the power of affection. Do it with soul, with will, and enjoy this moment in the most sensorial way you can. And it's okay if you are in a stronger "footprint", affection is not about being sweet, it's about being true, being in the here and now, and dedicating yourself fully to the other and yourself. Go to your partner's body, start somehow, and listen to what he asks and likes.

3-) Erection is a must.

Men, erection is welcome, but it is not necessarily essential for an orgasm or quality sex. So don't focus on the erection, just let it happen naturally. If the erection doesn't happen, don't blame yourself. You can have incredible moments being "half bomb" or even totally flabby. Learn to enjoy the moment, the affection, and don't focus on the erection. There is so much that can be done without an erection.
Women, if your partner doesn't have an erection, don't blame yourself, don't think you are to blame. Do not try to make your erection happen at any cost. Enjoy the presence and the moment, the affection, the affection. Why this limitation? Are we going to transcend this?
The influence of pornography created this pattern of compulsory erection. And when the little friend doesn't wake up, it seems the worst moment in the world, there is a climate, a great discomfort. Sex exists without an erection and also without penetration. Ever experienced?

4-) Enjoying is the goal 

Is jouissance the object of sex? If not come is not good?
When jouissance is the goal of sex, we are putting a goal in the sexual act, and this can generate a distance between the parties, as the focus is no longer the present moment. Enjoyment (ejaculatory or not) is very welcome, but it cannot be placed as a GOAL, otherwise we are prioritizing this sensation to the detriment of the moment.
How about sex without a goal, without a place to reach? Thus, enjoyment is no longer the objective, and the focus becomes connection, intimacy, THE MOMENT. When the joy arrives, it will be wonderful, intense, but if it doesn't, it will also be wonderful!

5-) Distant mind

"At such an hour, where will your thought wander"?
In tantra, sex is a meditation, and it has nothing to do with sitting with your eyes closed. The meditative state is the state of presence, where only the "here and now" exists and matters.
What orgasm do you think you will achieve, when having sex thinking about work, other people, or fantasizing about a situation that is not the one that is happening?
The distant mind is a great enemy of orgasm and also a great disregard for the partner who is there with you. Being present for yourself and the other is the least that must be done, so don't let your mind distract you and take you out of this moment.
The tip is to focus on your breathing, and on all the sensations that the moment provides. Pay attention to everything, your body, the other's body. Nothing else exists, nothing else matters except the exchange that is taking place, allow yourself to immerse yourself in this ocean of sensations, it is a unique moment. Enjoy!

6-) Focus on performance

With a non-existent sex education, pornography teaches us. When trying to reproduce positions, moans, sex becomes performative. Instead of letting the body do what has to be done, and instead of showing ourselves vulnerable to the other, we follow an entire script to reproduce what we see in the movies.
The problem is that all this performance, takes us completely from the present moment, from the real sensations, and this hinders orgasm.
Sex, when performative, loses quality, because it is something fake, pretended, that is not really happening. How can this be something intense and good?
The tip here is very simple, be yourself. It seems easy, but it is very difficult to get out of this conditioning.

7-) Addiction to pornography

Perhaps this is the number one enemy of orgasm. Pornography distances us from real contact, from real sex. We get more and more mental, and come out of the sensory completely. The brain is addictive, and our reward and pleasure system is destabilized.
Pornography, so prevalent in our culture, destroys the sex lives of many people, and is more common than you think. How much of your day do you dedicate yourself to this? Can you stay a long time be consuming pornography? Isn't real sex as pleasurable as watching porn? These questions can help you identify a possible addiction. The problem is that many people are not even aware that they are addicted. Evaluate yourself, and if so, do not hesitate to seek help.

So, what did you think of this text? Can you identify the villains that hinder your pleasure and your sex life? I am available to help in your search.