8 Tips for Consciously Touching the Vulva

Create a space that appeals to all the senses. Candles, incense, soft bedding, and nice background music can help make the space peaceful. Finding time and space where you won't be disturbed can also help make the space safer.

1. slow down!

Be aware that it can often take a long time for people with a Yoni to feel safe enough to be ready for a Yoni massage. It might be a good idea to start with a connection ritual. This can involve looking into each other's eyes, holding hands, and sharing your intentions for the session. Continue doing a sensual full-body massage before considering offering the Yoni massage. A good tip is to spend enough time on the massage so that the recipient is aroused and ready for more intimacy.

1. Ask permission for Yoni massage

Many women and people with a Yoni have experienced an intimate touch that was too or too fast for them. Therefore, it is good practice to ask the receiver if he would like the Yoni massage. Wait for a yes before proceeding!

1. create excitement

One way to add to the excitement is to explore the outside of Yoni. Massage the vulva, the outer lips, the inner lips, the spaces between the lips, the entrance to the vagina… use your imagination! Vary the speed, pressure and types of strikes – get creative.

1. Learn about Yoni anatomy

Learn about the Yoni's anatomy and the locations of the various pleasure points. These include the G-spot - a grooved area near the entrance of the Yoni, A-spot - after the G-spot, P-spot on the perineum, and the U-spot, near the urethra. Know where the clitoris and cervix are located and keep experimenting with different types of touch to find out what the recipient likes.

1. ask for feedback

It's okay to ask the recipient for feedback! Ask them what is pleasant, what is less pleasant, and what they would like. Listen to them and thank them for sharing.

1. Let go of goals and expectations

Something that can go unnoticed is remembering not to push for a specific outcome, like an orgasm. Allow the experience to unfold naturally by staying present with your partner and the experience.

1. Be prepared to hold space

Many people with Yoni experience some pain in this area. Be prepared that pleasure might not be the only answer you get – and it might not be the answer. Keeping space means being fully present with the other while practicing unconditional positive regard. This can allow the person receiving the massage to feel comfortable enough to share any areas of physical pain that are encountered. There are often strong emotions that have been stored in the Yoni, so be prepared for the receiver to feel and express shame, sadness, anger, or other emotions. By holding the space, the invitation is to witness what arises, without judgment.