The Wound of Rejection

Some people do not respond well when they experience rejection. In fact I think that few people deal well with rejection, but some even react with verbal or physical aggression that leave sequels in the other person.

But it is unlikely that the rejection was caused by the person who did not live up to our expectations. Reread the previous sentence. "Our expectations." We blame the other because it can be a wound that you will always relive until you are aware of why it hurts you. Every relationship has a beginning, middle and end, but the wound of rejection can be long-standing and profound.

Whenever we fear a possible rejection we tend to run away from certain situations. Can you see how many times you have run away from a place? Of a person? From a situation? And what did you feel minutes before you ran away? Or why is escape a resource you always use?

Answering questions is uncomfortable because it invites the person to an internal investigation. And not everyone is going to face this trip. It is necessary to prepare, be prepared for the answers and to execute the solutions.

Sometimes we do not identify with someone who has been rejected, we take pains and without knowing it we may be feeding expectations on the person and feeding an illusion that will dissolve in the next disappointment. This is where you may need help, to face up front why this pain is so uncomfortable.

There is a difference between feeling the pain of loss and feeling the pain of being rejected. The pain of loss hurts because we plan dreams about someone else. The paths of life are responsible for taking us on other paths and the separation is sometimes inevitable. The pain of rejection does not always have a relationship with the person. We imagine a future or imagine that the person is the key to our loneliness. When we heard one, we shouldn't go ahead, but we couldn't.

The history of the pain of rejection can come before birth. A child who did not feel how much he was wanted or loved by his parents at some point in his development may come to relive this wound constantly. You can avoid taking pictures. You can avoid being seen in some social situations. As I said, it can because it is necessary to investigate before any hasty conclusion. I also don't want to generate conflicts and culprits. Why forgiving parents is a separate chapter in this story. In this situation, staying in the blame sphere will only lead us to repeat the cycle. The intention is how to break this cycle of rejection?

When we doubt our right to exist, we will relive the wound of rejection by attracting unconscious situations that will leave us frustrated and reinforce an idea that we do not deserve because we are nothing.

If the wound is long standing. The solution is long term and includes experimenting with different proposals: psychologists, holistic therapies, massages ...

The wound of rejection perceived as a wound needs to be treated until one day it is possible to look at it as a vague memory.

They say that to heal a wound you need to stop talking to it. It may be, but to know if a wound healed: put your finger and see if it hurts.

[Images: Formation in Renaissance, July, Instituto Metamorfose, 2018]