Quarantine as a form of perception of female sexuality itself

That the current context forces us to stay at home, everyone knows that. So, how about making this period, however long it may be, however fleeting, a productive moment for itself?

Many women turn to tantric therapy because they have a hard time having orgasms or feeling pleasure. Part of this difficulty may be related to some type of trauma experienced, but a lot, due to a lack of connection with your own body, due to not knowing it, which is a clear reflection of the failed and repressive sex education, which often involves the inheritance of cultural values ​​that depreciate female sexuality.

Being honest with yourself, have you ever tried to look closely at what you have between your legs? What I would like to propose is that during this period, which has inevitably forced us to look inside, this challenge is overcome. Yes, it ends up being a challenge, because women grow up in a context in which they are led to believe that the female sexual organ is not something beautiful or that it has an unpleasant smell. Or that your way of expressing yourself in the world is often judged and pruned for not being "appropriate" within pre-established standards. Being receptive to yourself means respecting your own sexuality and being proud of it, and that happens when you propose to self-knowledge and self-acceptance.

Here are some tips that can help:

1. Familiarize yourself with your vulva. Create a calm and pleasant atmosphere, being able to light an incense or use a room scent (Geranium essential oil is wonderful for women!), With candles or lower light, with quiet music. In a relaxed way, try to get to know your own vulva. With the help of a mirror, look at her affectionately and take a long time. Notice how the outer lips are (I don't like to call them big lips, because there are inner lips bigger than the outer ones and that's fine!) And the inner lips. Understand where your own clitoris is (even because it is important for you to know where you are so you can show your partner where it is), what it looks like and what your foreskin looks like. Allow yourself to become familiar with your own organ and to have a loving and friendly attitude with it. Allow yourself to touch yourself gently and notice which regions arouse some sensation in your body. And try to touch yourself in a different way than you already know. If sexual arousal arises, rub your hand over yourself and smell the natural odor of secretions on your fingers. That way, notice your own smell, which, like you and your vulva, is UNIQUE. Also, taste your own flavor. All of this is part of your own body and by itself, this is already beautiful. So love it without restrictions and judgments!

2. Represent your vulva in an artistic and free interpretation. Now that you have known your vulva, propose to draw it. Use the colors and shapes that best represent it to yourself, without clinging to any aesthetic pattern. Use all the poetic freedom in the world, because the important thing is not what it is, but what it means to you. Let your creative ability flow.

3. Massage your breasts. Many women are also critical of their breasts, which also represent another symbol of femininity. Many think they are too big or too small, too pointed or flabby, with stretch marks. Just like your vulva, believe me: they are beautiful, because they are yours. Still in a relaxing atmosphere, lie down or sit in a comfortable position with your bare breasts. Close your eyes and rub one palm against the other, until they are warm. Then, place them on the bottom of the breasts, below the nipples. In a circular motion, massage gently, around the entire breast, without touching the nipples. Rotate your right hand clockwise and your left hand counterclockwise. Make nine circles and then change directions by moving your left hand clockwise and your right hand counterclockwise. Repeat the set of nine four times in each direction. This exercise is suggested by Felice Dunas & Philip Goldenberg, and is known for its healing effect, both physical and emotional.

4. Touch your whole body in a present way. It can be during the bath or passing moisturizer through the body, but touch yourself in this way. Feel the existence of your toes, feet, heels, calves, shins, thighs, hips, abdomen, lower back, chest, shoulders, arms, hands, neck, face, the scalp, the ears. Learn to embrace in full body!

5. Dance. "Dance is the hidden language of the soul (Martha Graham)". In addition to being therapeutic, it helps to stay present and connected with your own body, in addition to being an excellent vehicle for expressing feelings. Choose your favorite song and go dancing in the room without fear of being happy. Enjoy and see! Allow yourself to explore the most diverse movements without judging yourself. Be it in the low (ground), medium or high plane (standing).

6. Stretch and Meditate. Today, more than ever, there are many channels or virtual profiles that can assist in this regard. Stretching is an excellent form of healing for the body, as it helps to release many energies that are stuck at certain points. In addition, it is an excellent way of working on breathing. And remember: breathing is the key to being present in the moment, and being present in the moment, the better the way you will connect with yourself, with your body, which is your sacred temple. And meditation, which also helps a lot in this connection process, not to mention all the other health benefits that are associated with this practice.

7. Photograph yourself. Make self-portraits or “nudes” for yourself. This is a very productive way to get to know each other. Play with your own expressions: be it sexy, cheerful, sad, bold, modest. The important thing is to express yourself and give vent to what you feel. Whether by facial or body expression.

Well, these are some tips that can help you to perceive yourself in another way, and to transform this period into something productive in terms of self-knowledge. And always remember: regardless of the shape, color, smell, nature of the feeling that any of these activities evoke in you, welcome them without any judgments. What you feel and are, regardless of the form, is yours and yours alone. Perhaps what best represents this is the following passage: “There has never been a person like you before, there is no one in this world like you now, nor will there ever be. Look at the respect that life has for you. YOU ARE A WORK OF ART - impossible to repeat, incomparable, absolutely unique. ” (Osho).

NEERA PREM, therapist affiliated with the Metamorphosis Network