Social Funds

Have you ever stopped to think about how many “social cashiers” you have placed in your life? Taught by your parents, your family, your teachers, your culture, your social groups ...

Can you perceive and distinguish what you do because it really makes sense to you, from what you do to please other people, to feel accepted, loved, approved, within the standard said to be normal and acceptable?

It is very crazy to look at ourselves and realize that we no longer know what it is, that we spent so much time fitting into socially acceptable models and expected by others that we followed, that we end up getting lost amid so many teachings .

We create an ego, several masks, several patterns that we call personality and sometimes we are proud of them, because in the eyes of society we represent an example to be followed according to the imposed standards.

I love the song “I don't really know who I am” from the band “O Teatro Mágico”. In an excerpt of it, it says:

"I don't really know who I am
I've tried to calculate my value
But I always find a smile and my paradise is where I am
Why are we like that
Creating concept for all that is left?

Girls are witches and fairies
Clown is a man all painted with jokes
Blue sky is the roof of the whole world
Dream is something that stays inside my pillow

But I don't really know who I am
I've tried to calculate my value
But I always find the smile and my paradise is where I am
I don't really know who I am ”

And that's it. We are taught to be so much that afterwards we do not know who we really are.

There are so many cool things about being able to let go of those patterns. I know I still have a lot to deconstruct, but there are some things for which I am already very grateful to be able to see with different eyes:

• How we were influenced by the idea of ​​anthropocentrism: the human being at the center of everything. How badly we already acted with the planet because of this idea. This supremacy of the human being reveals only enormous arrogance. The idea of ​​life at the center of everything makes much more sense to me. We still have a long way to go to integrate with Mother Earth and all her exuberant and wonderfully rich sources of life. We are all part of this immense living organism and we humans, for the most part, have not felt and acted as such.

• Love. We were taught that love must occur between a man and a woman and that it is for life. It is incredible to realize how much of a fallacy this is. There are so many ways to love and there is nothing wrong with them. How are we able to judge and condemn a person because he loves? There is nothing to be ashamed of the love you feel. Overflow, distribute, nurture whoever you want with your love. This is beautiful!

• Divorce. How many women and men among our ancestors have lived in marriages in which they were not happy? They were just trapped in a social box, surviving as they could from relationships doomed to sadness and dissatisfaction. Abusive, violent, castrating relationships, without love and without pleasure, just to satisfy the pressures and the will of others' eyes from a society that imposed that marriage has to be for life. That it doesn't matter to be happy, but it does matter to be married to the first person with whom you have committed or have committed yourself.

• How much we are contaminated by the machismo that makes everyone suffer. In different ways, but machismo ends up causing everyone pain.
• I remember once, in a conversation between great friends (that I still have the joy of having them with enormous importance in my life), when I was about 24 years old.
• I had separated from a boyfriend with whom I lived together for three years. I was talking to one of the friends at the table, who was interested in a friend of hers. I still didn't know him, I just thought he was beautiful. I remember that I told my friends that I was worried if he would want to have something with a person who had already been “married”, like me.
• I also remember how much I judged other women, as if they were not worthy of respect and liked to be praised for being different from them. Today I am very happy to realize that I became a woman who would be judged and condemned by me at that time. How liberating it is and I feel good about noticing how much I have matured and changed my gaze on so many things. Tantra played a very important role in these deconstructions and I am extremely grateful for that.

• Sex. I have seen sex as wrong, forbidden, something that should be done with a lot of restrictions. That there were many rules that should be followed. There were many strings and taboos on this subject.
• It is incredibly wonderful to be able to see sex as something natural and a very important part of life. Something sacred, fusion of energies, the act that acts as a portal that brings life to that plane. Something transcendental, of union with the whole, of a meditative state, of love, pleasure, health and well-being.
• Titles. I've valued them so much. A differentiated value to the people who had them. At the university, I got in touch with so many people that I had the right to humiliate, that I felt so superior for having them. People who felt glorious for having achieved titles, but who showed such great sadness, such hardness with themselves and with others. That clung to the titles because they believed it was what gave them some value. And I already really thought that titles were important to make people special in some sense.
• What are the titles worth if it is not to make a positive difference in the lives of people, beings in general, or the planet?
• I had the opportunity to meet people who do not have titles, but with a giant wisdom and extremely significant indeed.
• Education. How many values ​​are instilled in us and we spend our lives believing that in fact they have value?
• We have an education that leads us to seek to have, so that we can feel like someone.
• Studying things that don't make our hearts flutter, working on something that drains our energies, pretending to build a family, when in fact we destroy it daily. And stay like this, surviving, waiting for the weekend to arrive, hoping to lighten the weight of life, and we will survive until death arrives.
• We educate our children to believe that they need to act in a certain way so that they can be loved and accepted. We indoctrinate it in such a way as to suppress its spontaneity. They are created to please others and not to be who they are.
• Religiosity. Sometimes society imposes that certain forms of religiosity are accepted and others are not. The person has a religiosity considered praiseworthy according to social status and we tend to judge that he is a person of good character and character.
• We encourage people to criticize each other's religiosity and to prune and fragment themselves to fit in boxes that suffocate them.

There are several patterns, models, examples to be followed or not. It makes a big difference in life that we can reflect on them and question them. See if they make sense or if they are just social cashiers, which we don’t even understand how, but we end up getting stuck in them.

There are numerous other issues that need to be assessed. That we can discover ourselves, open the channels of connection with our own essence and get rid of all social boxes that do not represent us.

Think, reflect, review, do not allow yourself to enter boxes that imprison you. It doesn't matter what we experienced in our childhood and in our history. Now, as adults, we are able to take charge of our lives and move out of patterns that don't make sense to us. Let us be free, happy, aware, loving, empathic, tolerant and tender. Let us be ourselves.