Woman's sexual desires, needs and fantasies

Revealing your sexual desires becomes a high-risk task, depending on some relationships. According to Nancy Friday, many women find it difficult to reveal their desires, needs or fantasies to a man. This is often because men do not know their partners in depth. In other cases, there is a lack of confidence on the part of women in their partners. In addition, other women are afraid of being rejected or embarrassed.

It is often easier for a woman to share her body with a man than to tell him what she would like him to do. There is a taboo to reveal what she would love to experience or even what she is thinking.

The desire for emotional security

The longing for emotional security is behind the reticence of many women in sharing their true needs and desires.

Of course, she might not have a hard time telling you about those wishes she's sure you'd approve of. But what about those who can expose the woman? Could this involve asking you to do something she's not sure you'd like to do, or something you might find strange? Maybe not. And whether it's a look, a grimace, or a harsh word of warning, the slightest hint of disapproval can hurt you deeply.

Every woman knows the acute pain of shame and will do everything she can to keep it under control.

When a woman takes that leap into the unknown, to reveal her greatest vulnerability, she is basically saying, “I am confident that you know me deeply. Trusting that, by showing what is most profound in me, you will love me even more, for having the courage to entrust my soul to you ”.

Can any man have pretensions to the nobility, who do not consider this sacred?

What about vice versa?

In the meantime, is this reserve around expression an exclusive domain for women? And vice versa?

As a man, the moment you come into contact with a desire, fantasy or need, do you share it spontaneously? Believing that, even if there is no action, there will be no potentially negative consequences and life will continue as before? Or do you weigh the pros and cons before revealing a desire, need or fantasy to your partner? Especially one that you think she might consider absurd? Is there any hesitation, doubts?

There are few men who feel confident and cold, while revealing their true desires or fantasies, because there is a very real vulnerability in exposing themselves in this way. And once revealed, there is no way to put them back in the black box.

Veiled attempts at self-protection, or a man placing the fulfillment of his desire above the well-being of his partner or his relationship, can take a manipulative form. What is common is the proclamation that her desire or fantasy is something that would be good for her to experience. That she would really like if she tried.

So how can they both understand each other's needs, desires and fantasies?

Questions often start with ...

Why would you want to? What understanding would I do for you? What would that take? What is the desired result?

The answers to these questions are as individual as you are. And these are interesting questions that are worth diving into.

The end result is that when a relationship is not a safe enough container to contain the revelation of desires, needs and fantasies, they remain unexpressed.

How wide is your sexual energy?

Now, if you want to make room for the expression of this, first explore how wide the breadth of sexual energy is, especially if you are free from any negative sexual programming, anxiety, fear, guilt and shame that came with it. Are you sure you could hear your partner's craziest desires, needs and fantasies?

These are huge issues, which absolutely apply to both men and women.

There is a way to heal yourself so that you can create a wide and loving space that can contain your expression. Tantric therapy will broaden your horizons, so that you can better understand and accept your wants and needs, and thus have confidence in sharing with those you wish.