Tips for More Orgasms

I receive many interactors who report difficulties in having orgasms nowadays, but that was not always the case. I wrote this article with the most common reasons that can make a woman close herself off from sexual pleasures:

1-) Lack of Connection
The connection opens the doors of vulnerability, surrender and trust, so it is a great ally for a quality orgasm. It may seem obvious, but disconnection is more common than you might think. Many women report that they feel they are being used to masturbate with their partners. Connection is essential for empathy, admiration, and focus in the present moment.
Have you ever tried looking your partner straight in the eye for a few minutes? Do the test! Try looking at your partner, eye to eye, for a few minutes.

2-) Lack of Affection
Affection opens the door to access the body. The affection greatly influences the quality of the orgasm. Don't underestimate the power of affection. And it's okay if you're on a stronger "footprint," nurturing isn't about being cheesy, it's about being real, being in the here and now, and fully dedicating yourself to the other and yourself. Go to your partner's body, initiate it somehow, and listen to what he asks and likes.

3-) Erection is a must.
The influence of pornography created this pattern of mandatory erection. An erection is welcome, but it is not necessarily essential for an orgasm or quality sex. So don't focus on the erection, let it happen naturally. If the erection doesn't happen, don't blame yourself.
Women, if your partner doesn't have an erection, don't think you're to blame. Don't try to make an erection happen at any cost. Enjoy the presence and the moment, the affection, the affection.

4-) Enjoying is the goal
When enjoyment is the objective of sex, we are placing a goal in the sexual act, and this can generate a distance between the parties, as the focus is no longer the present moment. Enjoyment is very welcome, but it cannot be set as a goal, otherwise we are prioritizing this feeling over the moment.

5-) Distant mind
The distant mind is a great enemy of orgasm and also a great lack of consideration for the partner who is there with you. Being present for yourself and the other is the least that should be done, so don't let your mind distract you and take you away from this moment. In tantra, sex is a meditation, and it has nothing to do with sitting with your eyes closed. The meditative state is the state of presence, where only the "here and now" exists and matters. Try to focus on the breath, on your body, on the other's body, nothing else exists, nothing else matters at that moment.

6-) Focus on performance

With a pornography-based sex education, we try to reproduce the positions, moans, sex becomes performative, instead of letting the body do what has to be done, and instead of showing ourselves vulnerable to the other.
The problem is that all this performance, takes us completely from the present moment, from the real sensations, and this hinders orgasm.
Sex, when performative, loses quality, it's fake, try to be yourself.

7-) Addiction to pornography

I believe this is the main problem. Pornography distances us from real sex. We get more and more mental, and we go completely out of the sensory. The brain is addictive, and our reward and pleasure system is destabilized.
How much time of your day do you dedicate to this? Can you stay a long time without consuming pornography? Isn't real sex as pleasurable as watching porn? These questions can help identify a possible addiction. Evaluate yourself, and if so, don't hesitate to get help.