How to choose the sex of your tantric therapist?

I once read in a book dealing with female pelvic healing that there are certain traumas that only a man could heal in a woman. The statement seemed too strong and puzzled me. 

But thinking more deeply made sense because, considering my personal history (and that of many other women), many of my emotional wounds had been produced since childhood by the men around me. And I thought, nothing more just, that the healing of my body and my sexuality would come through male hands. Through a man's conscious and loving touch, perhaps the opposite of what I had been experiencing.

That's how I always looked for male therapists. Something about me wanted the other extreme of polarity to heal me from the sexual and emotional traumas that I had felt since childhood and that I was ready to release.

It was undeniable that the therapists with whom I went through healing and massage processes made a big difference in my life. It was through the hands of a male therapist that, after my first session, I accessed memories of pain and suffering from my ancestors and brought them to the surface to be healed. It was through male hands that, after the second tantric massage session, I felt so good and happy with myself that the sensation remained vivid and wonderful for a whole week.

With a loving hands therapist I had my first ejaculation, multiple orgasms, and it was through tantra (combined with other therapeutic processes) that my intimate life uninhibited and flourished to levels never before experienced by me.

However, something called me to work with women. A gentle energy that invites you to experience life with even more lovingness. Although I attend men and women, I felt a familiarity with the unfolding of feminine processes that, obviously, my experience as a female helped me to understand. And that was how for the first time, at Sadhana Comunna, I received a massage session from a woman.

Wow!! Something was going on differently in my internal processes!

By blessing the universe, the therapist was a woman with a very strong feminine and maternal energy. It's funny to think that it can make a difference in a person who touches you with the aim of having an orgasm. But didn't you?

One of the images that touch me and that I remember was the moment when the therapist touched the region between the first and second chakra, right at the height of the uterus. Somehow, the immensity of the feminine energy invaded me and I felt good about myself. I wanted more. A lot more. That energy was just what my body needed, what the feminine side of my psyche needed to heal.

Not surprisingly, I saw my mother's image in the process. I understood, instantly, how much of my sexual frustrations and inhibitions were related to the impositions she tried to make in the unfolding of my sex life. And also of the images that I have introjected of the way she related lovingly to my father.

The path of healing for the female herself is long, pleasant, sometimes full of painful memories, but unique. In the matriarchal societies of millennia ago, women met to share. All. Menstrual cycles, emotions, ritualistic moments of spiritual connection, motherhood… and, due to the way we evolved as animals, contact with each other is very important to support who we are. It is through the smells, behavior and observation of the flock that we learn to be. And it is through other women that we learn about the feminine.

After that first experience, I made a deep bow to the experiences I had with male therapists, and chose to continue my development process with a woman. Tracing my way back to my body and my deepest feminine.

This experience led me to reflect on the importance of women going through the process of orgasm therapy with other women and men going through the same process with another man. Everything regardless of sexual orientation. It is important to remember that tantric therapy is what the name already says: a therapy. Therefore, whenever possible, we must disassociate the choice from our sexual preferences and allow us to choose not what we want, but what we need to heal ourselves.

I needed a woman's touches. What do you need? :)