Emotional intelligence

Most people of my generation, due to historical and cultural issues, were taught to seek to develop the intellect, to admire and to inflate the ego of those who developed it well.

And the emotions, which are part of our life all the time, ended up being sidelined, were treated as freshness, weak people, something unimportant, recently called mimimi ...

We need to look at our emotions. Healing the need to project our expectations on the other, conditioning our well-being to the attitudes of the other, the urge to blame the other for the way we feel.

The way we feel emotions determines how we deal with everything around us. If we are angry, it is anger that we share. If we feel love, we share it. Either we know how to balance our emotions, or we are false, repressing what we are truly feeling.

It is a very important thing to start teaching new generations from an early age. It is urgent to start treating children with respect, with love, with affection, leaving them safe to be spontaneous and creative. Saving them from comparisons that stimulate competition and the search for perfection, that make them feel inferior, from the feeling of guilt, from the weight of gigantic expectations on their shoulders, from the desire to become robots that do only what is expected of them, even if it is torturous to them, because they believe that only this way they will be accepted and loved.

Have you noticed how loud some children are? They want to be heard and often what they say is heard as if it didn't matter, as if it were nonsense. The child is ignored and in order to be heard he ends up raising his voice.

Children also have to be looked into the eye, listened to carefully, feel safe and comfortable to talk about what they want with those close to them. Without fear of being repressed, judged, ridiculed or beaten for it.

How many of us suffered from extremely hard, super repressive creations, lived with threats, screams, swear words, punishments, comparisons, words that hurt deeply, harsh criticisms, were rated bad and believed that this defined them and so many other things that ended up marking the adult life in a negative way?

Parents did this because they believed in that moment that it was right to do so. But is it worth it to continue reproducing this same type of treatment with children now?

Childhood emotional wounds can bleed for life. To become closed, shameful, hard adults, without patience, without empathy, full of guilt, fear, insecurity, sadness, fragility, lack, feelings of inferiority, lack of self-love, “masters of others' morals”, judges of the lives of others ... because we continue to carry those beliefs that we are the way we felt when we were children and were treated in a certain way that made us believe them.

Of course, we can manage to leave those wounds behind if we become aware of them and have the understanding that we can heal them, that they are over and that as adults, we now deal with such issues.

However, not everyone finds paths that bring that light to consciousness and end up trapped in that bad view of themselves and bring with them a series of emotional issues that only generate pain and harm.

If we can prevent children from being hurt both physically and emotionally, we have already contributed a lot to making them healthy, happy, confident adults who will pass on these characteristics, through their behaviors, in a much more natural way.

Obviously, developing the intellectual part is also super important. But when you have health and emotional intelligence, the intellectual part has a lot more freedom, creativity, security and other resources to develop.

Let emotional intelligence be seen with as much value as intellectual. Let us take care of our children, ourselves and each other. Aware that each one is important, that they bring their potential and that all should be valued, that we are imperfect beings and that there is no model to be followed, that it is okay to be who you are.

Always!