Our daily discomfort

On page 145, from the book “JESUS, the greatest psychologist who ever lived", Written by Mark W. Baker, is written:" We hate in others what we cannot bear in ourselves. One of the questions I am asked from time to time is the following: 'How can I know what is in my unconscious that may be harming me?' To answer this question, I tell people to think about everything they don't like about others. Next, I ask you to make a list of the five things you hate most about the people around you. These five things are likely to be buried in a deep place that Jungian analysts call the 'shadow side' of the unconscious. ”

I have observed the things that bother me about other people and I have realized how true it is that we are mirrors of each other. With each criticism I bring about the behavior of others, I start to look for myself as to why that brought me some affectation. What is it about me that I want to suppress, that I don’t accept and judge in the other, and that I try to keep well hidden in me?

It's amazing to start noticing these things happening in real time. The attitudes of others that cross me and shake me in some way, have a lot to teach me about myself.

How many things I have realized, which are judgments that I have actually learned, are conditioned behaviors that have nothing to do with my spirit. In fact, I got used to judging like that because of the environment in which I lived. Family, school, society, friends and religion taught me, and I didn't even question it. I just put on the capes and masks that were presented to me as the correct ones, the ones that should be used because they were what was expected of me. And I continued ... So hard on me and everyone around me. The closer to me, the more judged and condemned the person for "his" attitudes and thoughts, which were actually my repressed ways of looking at life.

It is so beautiful and liberating to begin to see yourself and see possibilities of thinking with your own head. Work on yourself and be able to heal your own hardships and, little by little, step by step, slowly, but progressively allowing yourself and learning not to be affected by the attitudes of others.

For me, it is not easy, it is not overnight, it is not simple. It has required time, money and a lot of energy invested in this purpose. But without a doubt, I put on the list of the most important things I have ever done for myself.

It is very painful to look at yourself sometimes, to perceive a tyrant of yourself and others. But when you change your eyes and start celebrating every thing that is perceived in you and it is not at all pleasant, but that can only be changed when it is perceived, it is a wonderful feeling to know that you are bringing awareness of your shadows. Facing them, accepting them and welcoming them, are the first steps to transform them.

If you look with love, patience, understand your reasons, look at what happened and embrace yourself, they are very important in this process. Only then is a change possible.

Repressing, judging, condemning and hiding, so far, there is nothing in advance. Only the characteristics that I have and I do not admire have kept alive in me. Being tough, rude and judging myself, did not help. It only caused me to feel unwell, denial and did not make me feel at ease about being who I am.

Full acceptance, lovingly is the way. It is an exercise, every time you observe yourself charging and mistreating yourself, turn the key. Look at yourself with love, understanding and acceptance, and the transformation will come.

Love is the way and it starts from self-love.

It is beautiful to realize that we are mirrors in what bothers us in the other, but the awareness that we are also mirrors in what we perceive as good in the other is also beautiful. We see everything that we have in us. Therefore, we also value when we perceive something beautiful in the other, you perceived it because you also have it.

On page 147 of the same book that I quoted at the beginning of this text, author Mark W. Baker wrote: “Jesus seemed to understand that when we find ourselves hating something in others, we must stop and see if we have something similar in us. Condemning others for a defect against which we struggle in ourselves is like worrying about the 'speck' in a person's eyes, about which we can do nothing, as long as we have a 'catch' in the eye that requires immediate attention. . Sometimes, the cure for our hatred for other people begins with a sincere examination of what we keep in the unconscious. ”

May we allow ourselves to grow and walk along a road full of flowers. It is possible to learn through love and not through pain. More and more I realize how much that is how I choose to learn. Really!