What is Family Constellation?

Family constellation is a therapeutic process in which representatives are used to access ancestral memories in search of a solution to a particular problem (theme). The constellator (who leads the family constellation, therapist) conducts a brief investigation of family history facts looking for patterns. Generally, the theme is related to some kind of unwanted repetition and can be in different areas of life: financial, romantic relationships, work, health, pedagogical, among others. The area of ​​life will not be what defines the theme. The theme has to be as specific as possible. For example: if we talk about the financial area, the theme can be making money, or saving, planning, not being able to achieve what you want with money, among others. Thus, we have an infinity of themes within a single area of ​​life.

One theme is constellated at a time, it is not possible to constellate more than one theme per constellation. And the same theme is not constellated more than once, because, if the theme has already been worked on, there is a time for the solution to present itself in the person's life. Sometimes, the person came across a reality that they did not yet know and needs some time to assimilate, or was in internal conflict, so whoever constellates can see the result right after the constellation or even in 03 years after it is performed. , depends a lot from person to person.

When we constellation, we seek to resolve entanglements that are situations, facts that occurred in the past and that affect us today. We may or may not know this entanglement, for example: a constellation (who brings the problem to be constellated, client) may report that the grandmother was clumsy and lived purple, because she fell a lot and got hurt a lot in things. This constellation, investigating more about the family history, ends up discovering that the grandmother, in reality, suffered aggression from the grandfather and everyone in the family pretended not to know about the situation, without looking at the problem and denying the situation. This tangle can cause dynamics related to violence for the grandmother's ancestors, as it is a dynamic that existed in the family and no one wanted to look. Someone from a younger generation might repeat and pick up this dynamic out of love for grandma. As if to say: “I see you, my grandmother, so I do the same to include you and include this dynamic of my family”. Looking at the grandmother and looking at this entanglement, the constelando manages to re-signify what happened, and, in this way, conquer the cure, breaking a pattern, feeling free to do different without the need to repeat the steps of their ancestors.

Why would anyone repeat something that is not good? In the previous example about the grandmother, who would like to be violent or suffer aggression? How does this inclusion work if the grandmother has already passed away? Who would subject themselves to suffering simply to see that the dynamic exists in the family?

Generally speaking, this grandmother may have felt excluded from the family, misunderstood, or even judged by the family for remaining married to her aggressor. Hellinger says that, many times, to include some ancestor, we repeat steps from it. As if to say: "You can stop suffering and I'll fix it from now on". Like a mother who, if she had a choice, would rather be sick than see her child sick. Unconsciously, we would rather suffer than see our loved ones suffer. In this way, whether we know these dynamics or not, we repeat and, thus, patterns are formed in the family or in our lives, because it is often difficult to resolve or get rid of these problems.

standards. That's why we go into denial, or we look at the similar story of our relatives with disdain, with judgment, and we put ourselves in the place of victims, in short, for a series of reasons, we don't look at the solution to the problem and repeat the standards even if I don't like it. According to Hellinger, the solution lies in the change between “the self” and the “being itself”, expanding the possibilities, expanding the look at the system as a whole,

not just for the individual.