Sex Can Be Light

Sex can be so much lighter and more fun when you understand that you don't have to make faces and mouths.

When you don't have to be "the good in bed", "the sexy" or anything else you thought you needed.

When sex has to be the moment of the show, of the performance, it gains an unnecessary weight and seriousness.

It is unnatural, loses its lightness.

As the wise psychoanalyst José Ângelo Gaiarsa used to say: "Good sex is good, it is beautiful and it is happy. You don't have to look like a pervert".

We don't learn that way. We didn't even learn much about sex. Most of the time, our reference was the unreal sex of the soap opera scene, or worse, the sex of the porn movie.

Very rarely is sex portrayed as a situation in which it is necessary to laugh, play, talk, enjoy.

It is always something serious. Sensuality is always linked to faces and mouths. It is always linked to a final goal: orgasm.

It is a pity. The opportunity to experience true intimacy is lost. The one that happens when both are just enjoying, being what you are. When no one is concerned with looking like something or impressing.

And to have this lightness it doesn't necessarily have to be with a boyfriend or steady partner. From the moment you start to see sex more naturally, it becomes much easier to be light in any relationship.

When the partner has the same vision, it becomes easier, of course. But it can start with you.

How to do this? Start by questioning everything they told you about sex. Look for books, movies that approach sexuality in a natural way, in order to bring another point of view. Tantra can also help you a lot in this.