Listen to your Yoni

Over time, in relationships, especially long-term ones, women are increasingly reluctant to make love, and it is usually men who want to have sex more often than women. Why does it happen?

Over time, we become complacent. We spend less and less time preparing to make love with sensuality, excitement and passion and everything becomes faster, faster and less connected to the heart.

A good sign to see if you are jumping too fast for sex is to watch if you are using lubricants. Our bodies are designed to start producing lubrication in the exact amount we need, when we are ready for sex. If we are not lubricated, it means that our Yoni is not open and we are not yet ready. Listen to her!

If we really hear the clear signals that our body is giving us, instead of jumping forward or trying to please the man, ironically, the
man will like it a lot more later!

This is because, when we are authentically open, we surrender to bodily happiness and multi-orgasmic states, which men absolutely love! We also develop deep confidence, since if a man goes towards our Yoni too soon, or we try to get penetration before we are ready, or just superficially lubricated, we just close and disconnect completely from our female surrender. This attitude can lead to more serious problems such as dyspareunia or vaginismus, making sexual intercourse painful or impossible. Many men who come to me for therapy believing they have premature ejaculation, do not understand that the real problem they are facing is premature penetration.

A man doesn't need much time to get excited, which is why it is so important that he stay in tune with the woman. Asking for permission verbally or forcefully before entering it and checking that it is open and ready, rather than entering without permission or too soon, it is important as to comply with her request to stop or slow down.
Making tantric love is like erotic meditation. Requires full presence and incorporation.

Unfortunately, we are so conditioned to focus on our partner and his pleasure that we don't tune into our bodies. We don't make our 'no' more important than the other's 'yes'.

How do we stay in tune with our bodies to honor our yes? First, we need to be in our own body. This happens when we become very present in everything we are doing and feeling.

After some time, once we establish that deep connection with us, through that presence, we become aware of what is
happening inside our partner too, in his body. The more in tune with you, the more in tune with the other. The more you love yourself, the more you can truly love each other.

If you are in a relationship, to truly love yourself, there needs to be a union and a place where both are independent and can be alone. Remembering your worth and self-love is not someone else's job; it comes from what you are feeding in your own heart and in your own body. When self-esteem is obtained with the approval or validation of another person, it is temporary and lacks deep authenticity.

If we are treating each other with love, care and respect, it will be much easier to set boundaries when the people in our lives are not
are doing the same.

To truly discover tantric sexuality, like all spiritual practices, the journey begins with an inner loving look.
It is an opening of our eyes in the eyes of the beloved and feeling deeply what is moving in our bodies - emotionally, physically and energetically. We need to feel inside out, which is the opposite of what most of us experience because we are so attached to a result, to do what we think pleases our partners, and as a result, our sexuality can become as externalized as it is superficial. .

On the contrary, with this connection from the inside out, in the act of making tantric love, the natural movement is very similar to a river; a fluid, spiraling and circular movement, nothing like what we see in pornographic films, which is the back and forth movement, very oriented towards genital orgasm. Our body really relaxes deeply and surrenders to the smooth and fluid journey of two bodies that completely merge into love.

Pleasure is experienced throughout the body, instead of being located in the genitals, because we connect deeply with ourselves, with each other and with the Divine.

It is difficult to describe in words because really, Tantra can only be understood deeply through the body.

In our retreats, as well as in the online course we are preparing in this quarantine, you will be able to learn this practice and many others to experience true tantric sexuality and to connect deeply with your own body, your essence and reflex, to the other.

Any doubts I am available
With love,
Veronica (Sonala)