Reflections of a teacher

By the end of 2020 I will be 18 years old teaching History in public schools. Between mistakes and successes, I undoubtedly learned a lot and had the opportunity to grow a lot as a human being.

I am upset when I hear someone say that the school is still the same as it was centuries ago, because in my view, it is not. At least in the sense that students at the schools where I work have the freedom to bring up discussions on any topic they want during classes, they can express themselves, we can laugh and have fun together, there is a much greater space to understand and deal with them them as human beings in their entirety and not just as competitors who need to excel all the time, because they need to be the best in the competition of life. Or that they only deserve respect if they bow their heads.

There are teachers who seek to make classes pleasant, interesting, dynamic and attractive to students and use technologies as great allies for this. They are accessible to students, striving for quality teaching.

Historiography itself has changed a lot in recent years. Children no longer study history in the same way that I studied when I was their age. Today, the historical views of diverse groups are being worked on, and not just the views of the dominant classes. We all place ourselves as historical agents, responsible for building the History of the place where we live.

The school has been conducted in the search to be a space increasingly distant from violence, from repression, from the punitive institution, which rewards the subservient and punishes the spontaneous ...

But of course I agree that there are still countless obstacles. We are a long way from having the ideal school in my view, which should educate for freedom and autonomy.

We work in classrooms with a large number of students, which I consider detrimental to the quality of teaching. Teachers who need to work hard for 2 or 3 hours a day to be able to maintain themselves. Shortage of resources. Content charges that often don't make sense. Most of the time we still demand that everyone is good at the same things, not considering the different potentialities and multiple intelligences of each one.

We are divided between valuing our own potential and the need to prepare them so that they can be able to have good results in ENEM in the future, if they wish.

I started my profession teaching classes at night, I was still in the second period of the History faculty at UFES. At that time it was rare to have teachers trained in the area in my city. And being a student in the field was already a rarity.

I started out very open to dialogue, very liberal, very immature, I imagined that everything would work out that way. I soon realized that for people to study, another posture would be necessary.

I became a very repressive teacher. I had a very hard upbringing on the part of my father and I had not lacked repression ... And as we are good at giving what is inside me, I became more and more repressive.

Always very concerned with working with content that she thought was essential so that students could get where they wanted. For that, I was rude, mean, I missed the opportunity to meet the students, because there was no room for that in my classes. The classes were silent. And I worked on the content, threatened, called responsible people to talk as a form of punishment ...

I always took classes to participate in field classes, but I controlled the students' behavior all the time. I promoted theaters, shows, fairs and even so, there were rare times that I kept closer, that I left the professional's mask and was a human being with the children. I remember that I was so hard and controlling that I prevented the students from leaving the room as much as possible, even to drink water or go to the bathroom.

I remember a time when a student said to me: “Our teacher! You smiled!" And it was in the month of August, that I smiled in class in her class for the first time ...

Today I am aware of how bad that was for me and the students. But I know it was what I could do at the moment with the luggage I had. I believed I was doing the best for me and them.

I thought I should be respected just because I was a teacher. When I remember this, a scene from the film “The Labyrinth of the Faun” always comes to mind, in which a very evil character did his evil things with a doctor who did a beautiful job saving lives. And that doctor said something like this: "Obey for obeying, like this, only people like you can do it!"

That's right. I learned that respect is not required. People may be afraid, but respect is something else. And that winning love and respect at the same time is a beautiful thing, and it occurs naturally. I learned that finding a balance between being able to conduct work between the discipline necessary for learning and freedom is a constant challenge.

Osho says something about education that makes a lot of sense to me, on pages 172 and 173 of the book “THE REVOLUTION - Conversations about Kabir”:

“We have to find a human kind of education in the world; the education that exists is very inhumane. We have to find ways for the child to play in the sun and still learn some arithmetic. This can be done - since we know that arithmetic is not as important as playing in the sun; once the matter has been decided, then we can find ways. A little bit of arithmetic can be taught, and a little bit is needed. Not everyone will become Albert Einstein, they will not worry about playing in the sun - their joy is arithmetic, this is their poetry. So it's different; so it's totally different; then growth is not hindered and guilt is not created.

I myself was never interested in playing any games in my childhood, but nobody stopped me. I was more interested in great poetry, I was more interested in great philosophy, I was more interested in religion - that was my game, that was my game. This is something else. If someone enjoys poetry, let him enjoy it, and if someone likes to work in a carpentry shop, let him enjoy it - each according to his needs.

And there shouldn't be an assessment of who is superior and who is inferior. The carpenter is not inferior and the mathematician is not superior; the mathematician is enjoying his preference and the carpenter is enjoying his. If anything has to be said, this is the idea - it is that the jovial person is right and the sad person is wrong. ”

I believe that this is the way to go, to educate people so they can be happy, to live well, to support themselves with what really makes sense to them, with what actually brings them joy, the will to live.

I have had numerous conflicts over the years regarding the teaching profession. And only after a lot of tantric therapy, I realized that it makes a lot more difference to know the students, to understand them, to welcome them in certain situations, to have a loving look at them, to dialogue and invite them to think together than to play with them contents desperately.

I understand that you learn a lot more in a teacher’s class where you feel good, you feel valued, you feel belonging to that place, you feel capable and safe to be who you are, you feel free to share what you feel and what you think . Whatever is taught, much better will be understood if the environment is welcoming, loving, peaceful, harmonious, mediating, listening.

Today I understand that being a teacher is much more than transmitting content. That is a constant learning, full of stumbling blocks, mistakes and successes. That the school should be a place of collective construction of knowledge, of sharing, of exchange. No longer a place where some command and others obey. I still realize how culturally we remain in this model many times. I know it is not something that happens overnight, but a process.

But I am very happy to realize how much I and many people who are with me on this journey, we have already changed our views on the school in these almost 18 years and I hope that our students, in addition to the content worked in class, can learn that:

• They are unique beings and should not compare to anyone else. • That we all have potential and we should value them. • That standards of beauty are just worldviews, that we don't need to be part of them to be accepted by ourselves. human beings are therefore imperfect. And that's all right.• That in addition to dedication to studies and other responsibilities in life, we need to rest and be busy with things that are good for our body and soul. • That there are always choices in life and that we can choose. very important in the group.• That it makes perfect sense to align what you think, say and do.• That we live to be happy, that joy is a prayer and that although we cannot only do what gives us pleasure, we can do everything what we need with pleasure.• Among many other things...

I thank each student, friend and education professional who has passed or is part of my life and has contributed so that today I can see education in a way so different from what I once saw.

I am grateful for the certainty that in these almost 18 years, I have learned much more than I taught. I learned in pain and love that education has nothing to do with control, but with freedom. It has nothing to do with mere transmission of knowledge, but with continuous exchange of knowledge. It has nothing to do with imposition, but with interest. It has nothing to do with hierarchy, but with a circle. It has nothing to do with arrogance, but with sharing. It has nothing to do with authoritarianism, but with confidence ...

Gratitude!