Sabotage and sexual energy

The ego is often seen as an enemy to be fought with all its forces and forms. However, he is a great ally in the awakening of his innate abilities and powers to develop an immense beneficial arsenal in his journey of self-awareness and self-healing.

Carl Jung already said that “I am not what happened to me, I am what I chose to become”, and in view of this, it seems even easy to know when we become victims of ourselves, and on the one hand it is, but it requires a careful look , loving, welcoming and full of truth towards ourselves. This look is training, it is something that develops with time and space for you, time to get out of the position of seeing our reality through the hole of our own wound and space so that it can happen in different ways, in different perspectives other than own pain.

We have 4 main defense mechanisms of the ego, which are hidden among the rubble of our minds and emotions that are barely resolved in the face of the everyday and busy apexes of everyday life, being the critic, the contempt, the withdrawal and finally, the defender.

The first of them, the critic, comes when we are faced with a conversation that there is an exchange of information, or some new information in that exchange, be it with a friend, a co-worker or even with your therapist. The critic's cocoon breaks down and a process of criticizing begins precisely because of the fear of being criticized, after all this ego does not like to be charged or feel in the role of debit in collection, even if in fact there is no formatting of charge in this exchange . Before I even feel charged, I charge, even before you finish what is in your speech, I say so that you do not charge me anything that is not something that I can or could give, so I criticize. I charge you too much so that you won't charge me later for something that was already charged to me.

Contempt occurs when you simply find it funny, start laughing or take it seriously what is happening in front of you, or what may be being said to you at one time. Me, not knowing how to handle what I feel with what is unfolding around me, in front of me or what I hear, I find it funny and I reduce the situation in question because I do not deal well with any of this, not even with the seriousness of question or event in question. Usually those who have this defense mechanism, say they don't have it, are the biggest deniers of things that are clear in any situation, especially when it comes to contempt, because, not taking seriously what comes to my eyes, I don't even have to look for myself while I'm here. Laughing at everything, I can neglect any fact that comes to me that may cause internal noise or even any movement towards this issue.

When I am in retreat I run away from any conflict that arises and I hope that things will magically resolve without my interference, running away from whatever my role in the scene is. Basically I want “peace”, it is the great propagator of toxic positivity, or the passivity imposed by a dishonest harmony in itself, coming out of chaos and without facing any kind of problem that my being interprets as being problematic to myself. Letting go of the situation solves itself, with time, they do not need any interference on my part or any decision and attitude to show improvement or resolution, especially situations that in fact need my action for such resolution, whatever it may be. I abstain from positioning and live my pseudo peace in the inertia of not making any decision, and so I avoid conflict with anyone, even within my own inert being in a situation where the assertiveness of my decision would be providential and it is not, my training is with the escape.

The defender is our great storyteller, the great fictional narrator of himself supported by defense narratives in whatever fictitious position he takes within events. I understand this saboteur better, we have someone here who can always be late, always leave his tasks in half, always find an excuse for himself and the other of his personal “tragedy”. I always have a good excuse for not listening to you, for not doing a certain task, for not fulfilling a commitment with myself or with you. Do not expect anything from me that is not a “good argument” based on my own tragedy or (im) predictability. The defender has a thousand reasons to make you, and himself, to believe that this is happening, and even if you don't believe him, he believes in you. He tells himself these stories every day so that he himself can believe, whether these excuses are real or not, but serving the stage floor where I wander with my own self-sabotage.

These poorly formulated ego mechanisms that defend you from your inner potential and allow you to live your vital potential energy in a reduced way, delay your development, create a film that makes you see a room through the keyhole where important details of the scenario are lost and they dissolve within their own self-imposed limit, and that does not depend on how they acquired that protective film from themselves.

Freed from these bonds and harnesses its energy power flows. You learn to release the knots and unconscious fears that make you fall into the same trap of the ego and that pull you into inferior systems of your own power. As sexual energy is a flow of vital energy and is linked to all the practical processes of everyday life, there is no way to acquire potency without opening yourself up to the lower ego, and even better, using it for your guide, without discarding, without denying , without reducing or demeaning him to his hidden and internal enemy hiding in the gut, but, like a compass, a beacon that guides him to orient his attitudes and patterns to a spectrum of his greatest strength of being and being.

Tantra more than pleasure, it provides this lens little by little, with affection, warmth and calm. An orgastic life, and here I don't mean (only) genital orgasm, passes through your entire body in the form of presence, and it is in the presence that tantra flows, it is in the presence that it awakens you and it is in the presence that the lower ego he becomes his great teacher and advisor so that his abilities are polished and his energy is nothing less than flow. When we stop defending ourselves, we stop defending ourselves and live a life without enemies.