If there's anything wrong, say it!

I've gone so far as to keep the things I felt to myself, to bother the way other people acted with me, to allow myself to be sad and hurt by it, to waste a lot of time thinking about it ... To say yes many times I wanted to say no and do things without the slightest desire to live up to the expectations of others, I have spent so much time having nothing to do with behavior, in order to please someone, especially my father, to feel loved by him. And I have reproduced this behavior countless times with other people throughout my life. How much do we do thinking that it will fit in the other's life or feel belonging to that nucleus.

We are often taught that saying the things that displeased us is impolite, it is inelegant, ugly, something that should not be done. We learn to swallow so many things that make us feel bad. Then we ended up reacting the way we managed to all of this, either speaking badly of the person to acquaintances, or holding a huge hurt for a long time that maybe one day we will play in the person's face with super multiplied hatred, or just getting that repressed painful feeling. inside us, keeping that wound open, bleeding or just there, left aside, but hurting somewhere.

If we don't talk or don't take care of it in some therapeutic way, we keep it, hold it, hold it, leave it somewhere unresolved and end up adding up to the body. And besides, it doesn’t even give the person who we think that caused this feeling a chance, even without having that intention, to know what happened.

Of course, it is worth exposing yourself in this conversation when you are a person who is part of our life and who makes a difference in our lives. Sometimes she didn’t do anything at all, us who, because of our internal pains and wounds that we ended up feeling in a certain way, it is also worth doing this analysis. And if she really did something that wasn’t cool, she has the opportunity to realize that and learn from the mistake.

Speak, use your vishuddha, express yourself. Put it out, let the other know that the way he acted was not cool. Don't keep things that don't make you feel good. Don't accept less than you deserve. We can say anything so as not to harm or hurt anyone. Be assertive, yet loving in your speech. All conversations get better this way.

Do not stick to that old schedule that you received back in childhood and still allow it to act automatically for you. Use your cerebral cortex, choose. You may.

Forget all the maxims that have been introjected into your bodies, that "life is like that", "it is ugly to say what I dislike", "it is weakness to show your feelings", "it is necessary to repress emotions", "life it's a struggle ”,“ we were born to compete ”,“ only the strongest survive, we have to be tough ”,“ I have to be well all the time ”,“ money doesn't work on trees ”,“ everything in life is difficult ” , “You need to swallow frogs every now and then to survive”, “you deserve less”, “you are a sinner”, “you have to humble yourself in front of others”, “your will doesn't matter”, “man doesn't cry ”, and so on ...

Drop that bunch of ideas that don't correspond to reality. Emotional health is very important, value yours. You are a human being, you have feelings, you can and should express them. So, if something has been said or done and you feel ignored, excluded, wronged, mistreated, humiliated, rejected, exploited, speak up. Always tell loved ones what they did and hurt you in some way. Be sincere and honest with yourself and with them. It is worthy and can be clarified, understood and reframed.

Don't miss the opportunity when it happens. It is growth for everyone involved. Enjoy! And be open to hearing when someone comes to tell you that your attitude has made you feel bad. But listen with love and make yourself understood, understand each other and grow together.

That's it! Growing up can be painful at times, but it can be much better than keeping suppressing your feelings and continuing to lie even to yourself that it's okay. If it’s not okay, fine. It is part of it. But do not be silent in the face of your pains, do not allow them to grow and accompany you throughout your life. It is a very unnecessary weight. Go! We can!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to do a meditative technique called Giro Sufi, and during the process, I saw my father, with whom I had a history of considerable repression, he passed away when I was eleven years old. He said to me very emphatically and repeatedly: "If something is wrong, say it!".

I will continue to listen to his advice, but no longer to please him or try to feel loved by him, as I did countless times in my childhood, but aware that it is the best for me. Gratitude father! It was beautiful to see you.