Male sexuality: the “jackhammer” standard

A common question among women is why many men, when it comes to sex, tend to

accumulate all the energy in the pelvis with quick and strong thrusts, in the “crusher” pattern.

Of course, talking about sex and sexuality involves several important aspects: information, habits, fears, body awareness, relationship with the partnership and others. Therefore, I will mention here three common points that make us understand a little better about this pattern so common in males.

The first important consideration is about male sexual behavior. Much of men see sex as a way to discharge, relieve the accumulated tension in the body. It is known as an active orgasm pattern: where it seeks to relieve body tension through the manipulation of an object, the penis. This rapid, constant and vigorous manipulation, which can happen by the hands or by the pelvic movement, will result in a discharge that will bring the much sought after relief.

Women may also exhibit this pattern, but it is common for women to expect pleasure and tension relief by manipulating their bodies by someone else. And that we call passive orgasm.

I remember that men and women can have both patterns. There is no exclusivity.

The second important point is sex education, or rather, its absence. Even today it is common for men to initiate sexual activity with sex workers, where there is no affective bond but the desire for relief, virility, performance. Not to mention that for many pornography is still the reference of sex education, that is, men learn that what is presented in the movies is real life (far from it!). In porn movies, we always have giant, erect penises that move wildly (jackhammer) in and out of an orifice. The result of this is incessant groans, ejaculatory jets as sources of Roman water, orgasm and total ecstasy.

How, then, will our common man, seeking to satisfy himself and the other, think differently? He will be impelled, even if unconsciously, to repeat what he sees.

The last point I want to mention, and for me very important, is the emotional factor. It has been agreed for a long time that the “real” man is the stud, virile, who does not deny fire and takes care of everything and everything. Poor man,

in addition to everyday problems, at the time of his pleasure, at the moment of connecting with his body and the body of the other, he has yet to prove that he is the king of the jungle. But if there is stress and performance anxiety, how can I relax and let the sexual response cycle take place in my body?

And again the crusher pattern appears. Even with all the tension the man can get an erection, he can choose to finish quickly, "do the job", show that he was able to penetrate, pump, ejaculate and still have an orgasm .

Saw? He did what was expected! Even if this results in little pleasure for both involved. The thought is: "before enjoying it quickly than being a brocha".

I leave here just a few considerations to make us think about where this crusher pattern comes from. Whenever we talk about sex and sexuality several aspects must be considered and several professionals, with different lines of therapy can help.

As a physiotherapist in women's health and a tantric therapist, I know that bodily re-education is a very effective means. Be it in curing sexual dysfunctions or for people interested in discovering new ways of feeling and relating to the body.

Finally, I leave a tip that is worth gold: dialogue. I don't think I need to say how important dialogue is when a couple experiences disynchrony in their sex life.

Big hug

Christiane Costa (Radha)