About making peace with our shadows

It is not always easy to assume our shadows, our monsters, our dark and dark side. That side that we usually try to hide even from ourselves. Repressing, pretending it doesn't exist.

But the truth is that the more we deny our shadows, the more alive they remain. We have them. And why not recognize, look and welcome? Accept them as parts of us that are? Something to look at and work on. If we don't look at them, they can be our faithful companions for life.

Feeling of superiority, aggressiveness, jealousy, possession, pride, exaggerated individuality, self-sabotage, selfishness, habit of lying, envy, malice, judgments about oneself and others, condemnations, indifference, intolerance, lack of empathy, in short. There are many shadows and each one of us carries many of them ...

Just a behavior, a look, an attitude, a noise, a nuisance, an environment, an expression, a speech, a tone of voice, a situation, something out of place or anything external that provokes her, that she quickly it leaves its hidden place, guardadinho and it manifests itself. Sometimes so automatically, that when we see, we already act and we have nothing left to do but repair the damage as far as possible.

For much of life we ​​can believe that they are really uncontrollable, that they are natural impulses, that we are like that and that we can do nothing to stop their manifestation.

But when we raise the level of consciousness a little, we realize how much the actions through the impulses of our shadows do harm to ourselves and to those around us.

Tantric Therapeutics, Tantric Psychotherapy and the Personality Enneagram have tools that can help us in the process of self-knowledge, in the search for the origin of our shadows and in the identification of what feelings are behind them, supporting them.

Understanding why we have them allows us to observe, to know, to know what brings our shadows to the surface, what feelings they carry, what defense mechanisms we use to not feel the pain, to perceive and understand the way we act. And that understanding can help us to break that cycle and not get to the point of committing harmful attitudes.

In the beginning, it takes will and dedication to remove shadows from the place of shame, guilt, repression, the forbidden, what has to be hidden, and look, recognize, accept, welcome, understand, face self-responsibility over them and acquire self-awareness. As we do this exercise, soon this movement becomes more and more natural and we learn to deal with them.

Because people connect with their own essence, they integrate, they see themselves in full, they accept themselves as they are, they include our parts, not that they feed and agree with the shadows, but they cast the strength of assent on them.

There is no need to fight an internal struggle, but a deep acceptance. When we accept, transformation is possible. Accepting, becoming aware of how we act when influenced by our shadows, does not mean that we will no longer be able to let them act for us completely. But it makes us realize that when we feel those impulses, we are able to reflect on our attitudes, they no longer touch us in the same way, and we learn to change behavior patterns.

We know, then, that awareness of the shadows and their influences alone does not resolve the issue. It means observing oneself, knowing the motivations that lead us to give voice to the shadows and changing beliefs, behaviors, visions, addictions and patterns.

We are always caused by our shadows. Becoming aware and transforming through it is what makes us no longer feel like letting the shadow manifest for us when provoked.

The more we connect with our essence: love, the higher our level of consciousness will be and the less we will act through the shadows, the personality, the ego. We are not the set of behaviors and attitudes that we believe to be. These are the masks we wear to fit society. That since we are children we learn to dress to be accepted, to feel loved, approved and recognized. We are being pruned in our spontaneity, in our nature.

Raising the level of consciousness is the rescue of lost spontaneity. It is the real encounter with oneself, it is the recognition of our divine spark, the connection with our essence. It is in this process of self-knowledge that we see and make peace with our shadows.

Let us understand that the big question is not “Why am I like this?”, But “What am I like this for?”. What do I need to learn from the shadows I carry? What's behind my behaviors? And we are realizing that they are important for our growth. That we have them because we need to work on those issues that created them.

May we then find the way to the acceptance of our shadows, observing and perceiving what we feel when they have the impulse to surface. It is important to give the names, to recognize, to remove from the field of unconsciousness and to bring to the field of consciousness, to take from the place where I am simply dominated by the shadow and to bring to a place where I can perceive what happens. And without judging, looking at it, welcoming, integrating these emotions, realizing where this comes from, what is behind these feelings, listening to each other, identifying the origin and becoming aware that it is possible to break the cycle and naturally transmute these feelings , and really bring light to our shadows.

Lots of light for us!