Tantra & Relationships

A little history about the nature of marital relationships in societies around the world.
Traditional Tantric texts from India and Tibet take a very different approach to relationships, compared to modern texts, and particularly to Neo-Tantric teachings.
Marriage and extramarital sex were built on a very different social system, for very different purposes when traditional tantric texts were written. And, often, the written texts encoded a much older oral tradition and based on an even older social system.

In traditional societies, marriage was an arrangement between two families, with the aim of creating financial and military alliances and raising the next generation of children. There was no expectation or more focused consideration that the marriage would be emotionally or sexually satisfying for either partner. At many times in history, men and women were expected to have lovers outside of marriage.
In this societal system, many cultures had the premise that men could openly maintain concubines, but it was necessary that women be more discreet given the machismo that has always existed, however, it does not matter any position here about superficial or rooted machismo. They are choices of how to act: openly, wide-open or veiled and more discreetly and also choices to prioritize in our lives, using transparency and authenticity or not. If your relationship with the other is one of your priorities, I think your freedom ties you to what you put your attention on. This is independent of tantric interests. They are just questions related to the primary interest of a social relationship that may be monogamous or not. Society is driven en masse by its real or imaginary beliefs, rooted in a "collective subconscious" and its spiritual and material goals.
The arrival of the Moghuls, with their patriarchal Islam, and then the British, with their Victorian Puritan customs, suppressed Tantric traditions, as well as many of the more liberal social expectations regarding extramarital relationships. Strictly applied monogamy has become the norm in what is now India and Pakistan, with the exception of certain matriarchal mountain tribes.
In India, traditional Tantra then suggested “hiring” a tantric partner who is by no means desirable as a romantic partner. This would avoid the difficulties of developing attachments and material tangles with a tantric partner. A member of the Untouchable caste (Dalit or Pariah - see pyramid of Indian caste systems), was specifically suggested in some ancient texts to the Brahmin caste, created to face "with disgust" and literally to avoid touching those of caste destined for cleaning, for example.
In order to enter a sexual ritual with someone you were created to consider disgusting, it is necessary at least a very high level of transfiguration, spiritual dedication and love, making the relationship free of interests rooted in the matter, considering then interests of spiritual elevation , which in fact are independent of castes, are only related to Tantric interests of transcendence and expansion of consciousness.



                                 WHAT IS A TANTRIC RELATIONSHIP?

In particular, I always consider it important to mention in any article I write, that Tantra is a spiritual approach that considers the whole experience as an opportunity to access the Divine, Universal Consciousness, the Expanded Self or the "Anuttara" (the union of the energies of Shiva and Shakti) through ourselves and our bodies and through fluid exchange with people.
In this context, relationships are simply another part of life's experience, another part of ourselves but of equal importance in the whole. Just like eating and drinking, traveling, watching the rain fall or watching the sunset, experiences with people give us something to meditate on. They are, therefore, an opportunity to experience ourselves as Immanent and Timeless Consciousness, and not as a limited and separate physical being. Through the other we experience unique energetic experiences, hence the importance of the various types of relationships in our lives.
A Tantric Relationship is one in which the participants interact in order to commit to supporting tantric practices (not only sexual practices, but also). These tantric practices establish different levels of intimacy and different stages of intimacy. When I mention intimacies here, I am not referring to the physical body only and merely carnal sexual exchanges.

Any form of relationship can be a Tantric Relationship. There is no recipe.
For example, two people who come together in a tantric workshop, a course or an experience and agree to do a tantric ritual together are creating a tantric relationship, even if they separate after the ritual and never communicate again. The commitment is to the present moment, without expectations of the past and future.
Likewise, two people who are married, live or not together, work regularly, raise their children, can have a tantric relationship. The external form is not what makes the relationship tantric. People at any age can establish tantric relationships. Their relationship with the family, can develop through a tantric base when the individuality of the being in formation is considered and prioritized, when this formation takes place freely, posing questions of a sexual nature in a non-oppressive way, without relating them to issues promiscuous or merely carnal and material. Their friendships can become tantric relationships, with different levels of intimacy for each one. Your work can get a tantric look, whatever your activity. Because? Because Tantra is not Sex (see the article I wrote with that title).
Where there is a connection and an interpersonal relationship or more, where each individual exchanges various levels of energy, tantric contours may or may not be present. There is just no tantra in disaffection and disaffection.
Tantra is connecting with your own energy and connecting with the heartbeat of each being you relate to, at any level of intimacy, with each interacting with this spiritual system committed to its goals and practices. The commitment of each one is what will bring tone to the tantric muscles for each of our relationships.

                                                          Tantra & Sex
                                        Tantra Yoga - The Physical Exercise of Love

In addition to this approach to life in general, relationships, and particularly sexual ones, can be rewarding opportunities to promote our tantric practices in various ways because it is through the most intimate relationships that we generally expose our blocks, inhibitions and limitations. We can discover or resuscitate childhood emotional traumas, sexual problems, sex addictions or loves and sick attachments through each other in our most intimate relationships that involve deeper bodily exchanges. The elimination of these problems releases trapped energy and expands our ability to flow energy through our physical, panic and emotional bodies.

The most effective meter used to determine where we are on our evolutionary journey is the intimate relationship. That is why a quality intimate connection, or even some plurality of quality intimate connections, makes us feel full. And this intimacy starts in ourselves, and goes beyond, it includes the partners, as I just mentioned, the plurality of partnerships that you are willing to take care of and take responsibility also in the various spheres of your system of life.
“No matter how developed the ego is, or how clever the mind is, if you know how to use this measurement tool in your relationships at the different levels of intimacy you can propose, there is no way to cheat: the inner places that need to be purified will appear. Through our most intimate relationships, we become aware of what we need to change in ourselves and develop the humility to do so. ” Sri Prem Baba

                                                 Much More Than Tantric Sex

True tantric partners leave the rat race of normal / economic life second-hand. They can still play the money game, but they are no longer slaves to their jobs, nor to their relatives, colleagues, expectations and rules. They learned that slowing down and relaxing is very rewarding and enriching. Being happy is more important than being rich. Being together is more important than trying to make your mark in history. This is also reflected in the sexual act. Obviously, tantric partners can also have purely carnal sex, but in most cases sex is replaced by high sex. The sexual act then gains a tantric muscle tone and gaining muscle tone translates to working for our relationships.

                                                           Deep Connection

A slower, intimate, bodily, conscious, loving and energetic encounter. Intimacy, sexuality and love merge into a deep body-mind-soul connection. Making love is not a fight or a rush to the climax, no. So there is no time to honor the divine in your spouse. And there is no beginning or end. Yes, there may be hot sexual energy, passion, wildness, but as long as it leads to a place of deep union. Simple immobile eye contact can be even more static, as it is physically penetrating and very stimulating.

                                                       Peeling the Union
                                      Healing Tantric Relationship: Trust

When we are born, we are more or less whole and unlimited. We have no conception of separation. We still love unconditionally because everything is one. But we soon learned that the world is different, very conditional. We learned that our parents / guardians are satisfied with "that" and not everything is always so fun. For a child, it is impossible to judge the parents, so we create negative beliefs about ourselves. It is our fault that erodes our self-confidence. As we are dependent on our parents, guardians or guardians when we are children, we learn to behave (and improve / change) through the worldview they pass on to us. We get hurt, we think we're smart, and our ego creates patterns of behavior. We learn values, rules and ways of belonging. Gradually, our natural state of being is forgotten. Hence the importance of parents bringing tantric concepts to the mental muscles of their beloved children. Then Tantra enters in childhood. Who told you that Tantra is for adults only? This is fragmenting the whole once more into a slice of the cake ... Fractioning is necessary because if you swallow the cake all at once, you will not taste it completely and will only fill the "belly" momentarily, eating , but not nourishing.
Tantra for children can be a way to treat anxiety, hyperactivity, emotional distress at an early age. It does not involve practices related to sexuality since the child is not ready, biologically, emotionally and spiritually for these practices but now that you know that Tantra is a complex spiritual system, you can begin to reflect on how to treat your little ones in a tantric way too. It is much easier when a person learns from an early age, than having to correct himself after he is older. It takes much less time to form a tantric being from childhood than it does to become a tantric being after so many addictions have polluted our energetic arteries. Think about it. Think about the journey and the legacy you want to leave if you have children.
The child has no alternative but to TRUST his guardians. So, there is the suggestion for you to also TRUST AND BELIEVE that the tantric paths will lead you to a reconstruction of yourself (a) in search of your best version and you will be able to guide your fruits also on this spiritual journey.


               Creating Tantric Relationships Alliances Without Possessions or Handcuffs

A Tantric Relationship is a significant commitment, much deeper than a marriage, but the rules that govern this union are not of a material priority as Western weddings have agreed.
A material relationship involves agreements about material things - money, home, children, extended family, and so on. A tantric relationship involves agreements about spiritual things. For many people, placing spiritual practice at the center of their lives can cause a significant upheaval in material arrangements, or at the very least, their attitude towards material arrangements. The moment you commit to a Tantric Relationship, that turmoil can begin.
Key Elements of a Tantric Love Relationship
Union in Loving Presence
Tantra is the way to grow in Love and Consciousness. Love is the feminine part of duality, Consciousness is the masculine. The Spiritual Union is the meeting that aims to dissolve duality. It is combining, merging male and female energy, merging the two into unity. Weave the conjugal and spiritual fabric.
Consciously Together. Intimacy begins in YOU Solemnly touch your own soul
Living a conscious life is a real challenge. Tantric partners are committed to encouraging and helping each other with this. Sometimes (most of the time) we forget to be aware. We enter autopilot and unconsciously live a large part of our lives. Tantric partners tend to make many calls to each other to awaken them.
Loving Presence
The same goes for living with an open heart. The ego is seeking gratification, so we all forget about love and compassion. Tantric partners support each other. Putting the focus back on love. Look with love, act with love, even think with love. Give and receive instead of receiving and receiving. Accepting and embracing everything that exists in love. Remember that any joint experience should be considered an opportunity for spiritual expansion.

                                                      Spiritual Connection

A Tantric Relationship is a spiritual relationship. It is a connection between two people, but not only on the plane of the body and the mind, but also a connection of the heart and the soul. The ultimate goal is to help the partner and help each other to achieve enlightenment and spiritual fulfillment. This goal, however, does not seem to be so relevant (for us), however Tantra takes us back to the complete journey growing in love and awareness, resulting in happiness. So the real goal is just to be happy - infinitely happy together - here and now.
Experience the great moments when time and space disappear ... Share thoughts - feelings - energy - love - awareness
A Tantric Relationship is a merger. It is a sharing of thoughts - feelings - energy - love - awareness. It is a kind of unlimited openness. And being open, sincere, fearless, authentic, loving, awake is not easy. It is a very vulnerable process. It takes a lot of confidence and perseverance. The good news is that the payoff is huge. Tantra is a great way to deepen your relationship, the connection with yourself and your partner. This results in profound intimacy and moments of tremendous happiness (ecstasy, ecstasy, ecstasy ... ecstasy again).

                                                         Journey support

Being together on this journey has the advantage of mutual support. When one partner is unaware of what is happening, the other partner can come in and support. There is nothing to fix, there is no need to change anything, at the very least, your partner. The possibility of letting your partner look in the mirror is a great help.
Everyone has immense potential intrinsic and achievable through the experience of tantric practices.

                                                       Looking in the Mirror

Tantric Relationships try to “peel” the layers of defense of the ego, healing the wounds of the past. First, you attract a partner who sets your standards the most (he looks like "daddy" or "mommy"). Then you realize that your partner is the biggest mirror possible to see your conditioning, your wounds. Tantric partners tend to be able to unleash and / or embrace our deepest pains. First, you become aware of it, then you learn to love and accept it, and then you can heal yourself, letting go of what you no longer need.

Tantric Relationship - Shiva and Shakti. Unlocking Your Full Potential
Everyone has intrinsic and realizable potential through experience with tantric practices. We are limited by our education, by cultural teaching, by our conditioning. Tantra makes no distinction. You have countless potentials. "Masculine" qualities and "feminine" qualities. Forget the labels, count your blessings. All are available to you, because you have already come here to meet yourself. Your partner can only mirror what already exists: YOU!

                                                  Tantra - A way of life

A Greater Love Relationship With Yourself and the World
Tantric partners tend to choose a tantric lifestyle. In relationships, it is about the journey and the possible lessons that can be learned. So, if you want to get rich, feed yourself through the conditioning of the consumer industry and its materialistic strategies, don't get involved with a tantric. If you want to live a good and happy life, full of intimacy, connection and exciting (challenging) encounters, if you want that quality of wealth in abundance in your life, then look for a tantric partner.
Playing the Energy Game. Enjoying Polarity
We believe (I hope) that the day of dependency relationships is almost over (?). The male is out, the kitchen slave is gone. Furthermore, partners who live totally independent of each other lose the best
part of life. Fatal attraction, a spicy attraction is caused by the polarity between male and female energies. Whether in hetero or homo relationships, it works the same way. Tantric partners know this and use it to their advantage. Nothing is more delicious than a polarized meeting with your partner.
All tantric practices have a common purpose:
Bring your consciousness to the present moment, in your body, in the energy that exists here and now.

                                                    Enjoying the Feeling

Tantra is a spiritual path, BUT VERY EARTHY AND PHYSICAL.
THIS DUALITY IS INTRINSIC AS WE ARE MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL BEINGS.
Living with pleasure is essential because the spiritual journey is really challenging. Play is necessary. But this game must be taken very seriously. From the spiritual point of view, we are all children and the child is happy to learn by embracing them. In Tantra it is all for pleasure, therefore, consciously, it is promoted or just its meaning. Enjoying the good life is totally good, why not? But direct detection is a little different from the routine, filtered detection. The mind always says: "it has been there, seen it, done it" and then blocks the experience. Tantric Relationships remain fresh because you assume nothing. That's what the direct sensor is about. For example, when you look at your partner, it looks like you see that person for the first time. You look, smell, feel, hear, taste fresh, again and again.
Tantric Practices Meditations for Lovers
Tantric Relationships are full of Tantric mental and bodily practices.
Your home (body, mind and spirit) is your temple and needs to inspire harmony, welcome, warmth and reflect your spirituality. In Tantra, you create this divine space, a tantric temple for your soul to live. You practice meditations together in the relationship. (See also the Tantra Is Not Sex article on Tantric Meditations). In tantra, everything is divine! Therefore, tantric practice can emerge everywhere! Creativity is unlimited. From the attentive, penetrating and time-consuming look to tantric sex. Since ancient times there have also been specific tantric meditations available. Let's use all the tools we can in this delightful celebration of life. 

                                                            The Tantric Union

In the mythology of Solana and Satori, Tantra suggests that unity is achieved through the fusion of our male and female principles - pure consciousness and pure energy. The energy of love is represented by the divine feminine power, known as Shakti. Consciousness is represented by the divine male power known as Shiva. The marriage of Shiva and Shakti is considered the Divine Union, a fundamental concept of Tantra.
Making love is the final (earth / human) path to a tantric union. That is why sex is always associated with Tantra. Well, we are human, we are built for that and energetically the shape of the physical doesn't matter. Think of the union as a circle. If you create a circle between the masculine and the feminine, there is no way to separate again. There is no beginning, no end, only union.
Choosing a Tantric Partner
Given the importance of a Tantric Relationship, choosing a suitable partner is vital.
In the Hindu Tantric tradition, back in the early days, someone's guru would suggest suitable and auspicious perspectives, based on their spiritual development, astrological indications and other esoteric divinations. In the modern era, few people have a guru or trust him enough to yield to his guidance on such a deeply personal and intimate subject. Each is his own modern guru.
Well, many may consider it very important that the tantric partner has the same level of dedication and knowledge. It can be said that the ideal is for the couple to be equally advanced in their tantric practices, but I also believe that there are benefits in a tantric "teacher / student" relationship between a more advanced practitioner and a practitioner less advanced. Of course, this dedication must be to Tantric practice, but also to that Tantric Relationship in particular. If a partner treats the Tantric Relationship as casual, the results of the practice will certainly not be as profound as when both are fully engaged.
This commitment does not require that the Tantric Relationship be monogamous. In fact, monogamy can introduce obstacles to tantric practice. Commitment to a Tantric Relationship requires a promise as solemn or more solemn than the vows of marriage as I have said before. Tantric partners promise to work together to promote their tantric practices, despite the karmic obstacles that will inevitably arise. Tantric partners support each other through physical, emotional and mental purifications, through significant "convulsions" in their material circumstances and through the deeply disturbing processes of spiritual awakening.
A commitment to a Tantric Relationship is a commitment to face these obstacles head on, together, and to grow through them. A tantric partner does not "pause" when things get tough. A tantric partner remains focused on the spiritual goal and provides all possible support for the journey.
A Tantric Relationship is not necessarily a lifelong commitment. It can take five minutes while exercising in a workshop, or it can last for many months or many years. A Tantric Relationship must end as attentively and with adoration as when it started. The karmic bonds that unite the two practitioners in the relationship must be properly released with attitudes of mutual respect and unconditional love.
TYPES OF TANTRIC RELATIONSHIPS Long-term Tantric Relationships
Anahata or Heart chakra symbol
A Tantric Relationship has a different quality to a romantic sexual relationship.
A common romantic relationship usually involves a lot of ego: "my needs", always negotiating, compromising and even crushing the relationship that loses its raison d'être and ceases to exist.
A Tantric Relationship is a commitment to relate outside the ego, with the aim of reaching the highest level of "Anahata", the heart chakra, where unconditional love and altruistic service transcend personal emotional ties and physical or emotional attachment. material.
When we love someone, we often feel a strong desire to hurry to alleviate their suffering. This is an important altruistic service to be sure, but it is at the lowest level of Anahata.
At the highest level of Anahata, we recognize that in some cases suffering is part of a process of purification, learning and growth, and "rescuing" someone in these circumstances is really a disservice. This is a spiritual lesson that is sometimes imposed on people when they have a loved one who is addicted to alcohol or drugs, for example.
In a Tantric Relationship, it is important to have very clear boundaries. We are working on our journey, and our tantric partner is working on his (her). We are supporting each other, but we cannot give our partner the answer to the lesson that tantric life and practice is teaching. Each has a unique and individualized, but shared learning. Whenever we feel called to "rescue" our partner (a) or "fix" a problem he / she is having, it is a call to self-examination itself, in order to eradicate any subtle hints of the ego that still remain in our subconscious.
At the same time, we must be open to feedback from our tantric partner, whether direct or indirect, which can help us see things about ourselves and grow as people and as tantric practitioners.
Direct feedback can be a comment our partner makes about things we do that "open" or "close" us, and how we receive the other's attitude positively or negatively.
Indirect feedback can occur when our tantric partner becomes quiet and withdrawn, or becomes angry and raises his voice.
It takes a lot of discernment to separate a partner's reaction on their own ego triggers from the feedback we need to work on. Most of the time, both phenomena are happening at the same time. We may have done something that really disrupted the tantric connection, for example, but our partner may have reacted with too much unwarranted force to it, because of unhealed abandonment wounds in childhood, for example. We need to be filled with love, compassion and understanding about ourselves and our neighbors. But together, discernment and maturity have to be on this balance of tantric attitudes as well.
Cultivating presence, awareness and detachment to discern between what we need to respond to and what we need to create and maintain space is a powerful benefit that we can achieve in a Tantric Relationship.
In a Tantric Relationship, there is no room to react lazily to our Tantric partner from our ego triggers. We must be eternally vigilant and strive to respond with discernment and awareness at every moment. This alone raises the quality of a relationship on a tantric level and is undoubtedly a laborious thing to practice. So ask yourself: are you really ready to have Tantric Relationships in your life system? It is a question that you need to answer for yourself with a lot of honesty and truth.
Polyamory and Open Relations in Tantra
Traditional tantric texts make it clear that Tantra has never been tied to traditional societal norms, and sexually exclusive marriage was no exception to the breaking of the tantric taboo.
Some tantrics have renounced all forms of material responsibility and have devoted themselves to tantric study and full-time practice.
Others maintained a traditional householder lifestyle and practiced Tantra in particular.
The texts on Kashmir Shivaism (see my article Tantra is not Sex - The 8 Branches of Tantra), for example, were written mainly for heads of families who sought to reach the high states of consciousness that they believed to be reserved for Saddhus and Hermits .
Traditional texts make it clear that if a tantric has real sex as part of tantric practices, the tantric partner should not be a husband or wife. The ideal tantric partner has been described as someone who is healthy, someone whom the tantric did not find sexually attractive and someone with whom the tantric is unlikely to form a worldly emotional bond. The laundresses in India, for example, as I mentioned above, members of the "untouchable" caste, were considered ideal tantric partners for Brahmin men. (Particularly I find this idea a little strange to understand and assimilate but I am here in many parts of this article, just bringing a little bit of history about Tantrism and its origins in the various types of relationships we can establish).
Well, to continue: Tibetan Tantric texts contain many stories of gurus telling a disciple that it was time to start practicing sexual tantra and naming a tantric partner that would be suitable for both. Traditionally, that moment would come only after years of practice and preparation generally dedicated to celibacy.
                                                          The Neo-Tantra
Neo-Tantra takes a different view of polyamory, which focuses on practicing rituals as part of a long-term relationship, choosing sexually attractive partners and working to maintain long-term sexual attraction, and developing very emotionally intimate relationships. For Neo-Tantrics, polyamory is an expansion of the love of a relationship for many. Attachments are not seen as a significant barrier to practice, unless they lead to possessiveness and jealousy.
Most modern Westerners, the main audience of Neo-Tantra today, have no patience for years of practicing celibacy, followed by tantric sexual rituals with someone they don't even find attractive. As a result, many Westerners lose sight of any spiritual goal of their tantric practice and end up concentrating on achieving material pleasures in this world.
This dynamic contributed to Tantra's bad reputation in the West, as it can be seen as a "spiritual cover" for sex addiction, promiscuity and even abuse of power.

It is important to remember that polyamory is practiced in Tantra as a way to access impersonal and unconditional love and to transfigure the tantric partner as an emanation from the Divine. It is a gateway to higher states of consciousness, transcending our lower impulses of possessiveness and hedonism. This proposal has no libertine or mundane content.

                                                          Monogamy in Tantra
While traditional Tantra developed in an environment where monogamy was not generally expected for men or women, Neo-Tantra was forced to deal with the widespread normalization of monogamy in Western European culture.
The monogamous tantric practice in Neo-Tantra is generally, though not exclusively, focused on the development of the individual, and not on the transcendence of individuality. There is a school of thought that it is not possible to "deepen" unless both partners cut off all sexual contact with anyone except each other. It is true that it is not possible to "deepen" when one or both partners do not feel secure or are not fully committed, and it is true that, for some people, a promise of monogamy can increase that feeling of security, or that sense of commitment. .
At some point, in order to achieve total liberation, or at the moment of liberation, the need to control our partner's actions when we are not around, in order to feel safe, will simply disappear. At that point, we will be free to choose whether or not to be monogamous, rather than needing monogamy to feel safe enough to go deeper.

                                                           Celibacy in Tantra

Tantra embraces the full range of human experiences and therefore embraces celibacy with as much enthusiasm as any other practice. The ultimate goal of Tantra is to exercise full attention, presence and control over all the power of the manifestation energies as they flow through the practitioner, channeling the energy into the crown chakra and towards liberation or enlightenment (Kundalini Tantra).
Chastity periods are an important point of self-analysis for a practitioner to assess how much control they have over their sexual energy. The practitioner can convert sexual energy into something more refined and use it to empower his upper chakras.
Periods of celibacy can also highlight impurities surrounding sexuality in our emotional and mental bodies. Do we think it makes no sense to interact sexually with desired members if sexual contact is an option? Do we feel useful or useless when we are not being sexually admired? Do we have uncontrollable sexual fantasies when we are celibate? Practice and then you can answer these questions for yourself.
A tantric can undertake a period of celibacy (a commitment to a particular course of action for a certain period of time), simply to strengthen his willpower or to explore a specific issue. People in tantric relationships can take vows of celibacy at the same time, to support themselves in exploring what celibacy has to teach them.
Even within the context of celibacy, a practitioner can work with sexual energy as a means of awakening and activating his energy system. Tantric sexual practice may only be permitted in some forms of tantric celibacy. The sexual energy that is aroused by the individual practice can be channeled to the opening of the upper chakras, elimination of blockages and healing of physical and energetic dysfunctions. People in tantric relationships can practice alone at the same time in separate spaces. They can also explore non-sexual ways to connect emotionally and energetically.
Traditional tantric rituals usually involve a period of chastity as part of preparing for a ritual. The traditional Maithuna ritual (tantric ritual for sex), for example, must be preceded by seven or 21 days of celibacy. Tantric partners meet every day during the celibacy period and perform certain actions together, such as offering flowers on the altar and reaffirming their intentions for the ritual.

                                                         Relational Anarchy in Tantra

Relationship anarchy is the belief that relationships should not be bound by rules beyond what the people involved mutually agree with. In its final expression, Tantra does not recognize rules, laws or taboos; therefore, the anarchy of the relationship is very compatible with the principles of Tantra that addresses deconstructions of the traditional and conditioned molds to a single way of relating, considered as right or wrong. In this sense, for Tantra, duality is non-existent.
Relational anarchy is not an absence of structure. There can be many complex, long-term deals negotiated between social anarchists. The main feature is that agreements are made between the people involved, without reference to religious restrictions, secular laws or social norms.
As with any relationship style, relational anarchy can be used as a cover for spiritual deviation, selfishness and abuse. Lucidity and discrimination will help to identify these situations. If any part of a relationship in relational anarchy does not freely agree with something that is happening, it will not be true relationship anarchy.

                                           Practicing Tantra in your relationships

Practicing Tantra with your romantic partner, whether monogamous or polyamorous, is one of the most difficult ways to practice Tantra. From a tantric point of view, the risk of being distracted from the spiritual path is extremely high when we have an attachment to the tantric partner, and therefore this is not a recommended path in any Tantric tradition. A bit complex to accept such a concept, don't you think? In this sense, what my studies bring up to this point is that the less romance we seek in our tantric marital relationships, the closer we can be to our spiritual goals. But it is exactly the opposite that most of us look for when choosing a sexual partner for such meaningful and intimate exchanges. Romance, then, is the product of the ego! And being a product of the ego, for a spiritual elevation, it should be little considered, or even, totally disregarded. Sometimes it all seems to me to be “going against the grain” since when we are intimately relating to someone, romance is something natural ... Certainly this is due to the contradiction that Tantra brings us in offering tools for deconstructing patterns , breaking paradigms and taboos. It is simple and so simple and practical, it becomes complex. It is undoubtedly a proposal that inspires us to see countless other ways to love and love our partners, creating paths to love where they apparently do not exist.
While practicing Tantra with a romantic partner can make it difficult to achieve spiritual goals, it can nevertheless make it easier to achieve more material goals, such as letting go enough to support a partner while they are go through a triggering situation or sexual trauma.
Many neo-tantric teachers give specific advice on applying tantric techniques in a relationship.
Tantric Massage (See Tantra is Not Sex) can improve the emotional and sexual aspects of a relationship. Transfiguration is a powerful way to transcend ego patterns and to relate in a more unconditional and loving way. Ejaculation control (See About the Multiple Male Orgasm Technique) naturally converts sexual energy into devotion and selfless service, which immediately enriches any relationship. As well as the various types of orgasms in the female body (See the article on the 6 types of orgasms in the female body) they can be healing medicines for trauma and energy blocks.
A true Tantric Relationship requires a high level of detachment and a commitment to operate from Anahata and other higher chakras. Detachment does not imply lack of emotion in fact, the opposite is quite true. Detachment allows for the highest level of love, compassion, ecstasy, security and emotional bonding between tantric partners. Does it still seem to “trick” in your mind? Because it is contrary to what most of us learn in our social systems. Deconstructing a system of limiting thoughts, ideas and beliefs is undoubtedly a path of surprises to be revealed on the journey of spiritual elevation. But, ask yourself one more time: Am I prepared to deconstruct myself and find a new better and more evolved version of myself? If you answer yes to this complex question, then I suggest that you plunge fearlessly into the tantric universe and be prepared to face all the discomforts that will come on your way of rebuilding yourself with yourself through those with whom you relate freely. or if it is necessary to relate. Tantra is for everyone, but not everyone is ready for it.

                                                     Bibliographic references
Tiziana Pontillo; Maria Piera Candotti (2014). Unsigned meaning in ancient India and beyond. Anthem Press. pp. 48–61 with footnotes. ISBN 978-1-78308-332-9.
Gray, David B. (2016). "Tantra and the Tantric traditions of Hinduism and Buddhism". Oxford Research Encyclopedia of Religion.
Oxford University Press. doi: 10.1093 / acrefore / 9780199340378.013.59. Retrieved on 2016-10-15.
Robert Brown (2002). Harper, Katherine Anne; Brown, Robert L. eds. The roots of Tantra. New York State University Press. ISBN 0-7914-5306-5.
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Psalm ANANDA Prem
A2 Integrative Body Therapies