A word that is destroying your sex life

What you say to yourself on a daily basis can help or hurt you. The words have power. A specific word has the power to destroy your sex life. This ensures that no real intimacy with another is possible. It can cause endless worry and anxiety, which can affect other areas of your life. This word is "perform".

It is worth knowing where this crazy notion of sexual "performance" came from and where the root of it all lies. Try to deconstruct, so that you can begin to regain your power and enjoy all the intimacy, which is possible on the other side of the performance.

Negative Society

We live in a society with negative sex. It is very rare for a person to learn about the beauty of their sexuality during their growth. In general, people were not taught to take time and enjoy themselves, or to relax and fully enjoy their body and all its delights.

But how was the relationship with performance born?

Instead, there was a lot of fear, guilt and shame around sexuality. Masturbation was mainly a stealth activity, done as quickly as possible for fear of being caught in the act. All of this created tension and anxiety. As an adult, the ability to simply relax with someone and trust the flow of energy between them was impossible. Separated from the natural relationship with sexuality, a relationship with "performance" was born in culture.

Performance is the opposite of intimate

Performance is a way to avoid feeling the raw vulnerability that accompanies true intimacy. It is a way to remain energetically indifferent and unavailable, even when physically connected to your partner. It is a way of maintaining what appears to be a safe distance between you. Performance is the opposite of intimate.

True intimacy

When two people are performing, but none of them are connected to their own body or that of their partner, the scenario is set for sexual dysfunction to eventually occur. Performance is born out of a conditioned, disconnected and fearful mind. A conditioned mind generates a conditioned response. What else could I do?

In true intimacy, you are really naked, with or without clothes. You are open to love, to be fully seen and loved, just as you are now. You move beyond the limits of your mind and conditioning; to connect deeply. Without pretense, without defense.

And this is really hot!