Find out how doing tantric massage with a couple helped treat my soul

published by Jorge Gauthier

Mail24h

on Sep 20, 2018

on Rajan Irineu & satta flower & Mahaprabhu

It took me 20 days to finish this text. The first time I did a tantric massage, with Rajan, I experienced orgasmic sensations unique in my life. On August 31, I returned to the same apartment in Rio Vermelho to have a new session: four hands. Therapists Satta Prem and Jorge Mahaprabhu, from the YouTube channel TantrAmor, invited me to feel a new experience.

With an open heart, I stripped off tensions and allowed myself a new experience. After all, for the first time in adult life, a woman would touch my naked body (and still accompanied by her husband). No, there's nothing dirty about it. Quite the opposite.

It all starts with the tone of voice. Breathless as I climbed the stairs until I reached the apartment, I was welcomed by Satta. I sat on the ottoman in the room and started talking to both of them. We talked about the first tantric massage I did, what I felt and how it felt. They immediately explained to me that each session brought a different experience.

I lay down on the blue mat. The lights were turned off. Eyes closed and the sound of mantras started to enter my ears. The multiple taps seemed to have no specific reaction on the body. Time went by and in my head, with my eyes closed, I tried to identify where male and female hands touched my body. I couldn't tell.

Gradually every part of my body started to be stimulated. Sensitive touches, light and always followed by voices that mixed from side to side with the songs that echoed from the small sound. Even though I was told it would be a different experience, I ended up searching the same sensations in my mind as I felt the first time. In vain.

Dry orgasms appeared, but in another way. In other places on my body. I never imagined feeling orgasms with a woman touching my body. But happened. It was different. It was weird. It was a mixture of pleasure with the feeling that 'my little fear boxes' was being opened. Both touched me at the same time and I started to lose control of my body and my thoughts.

I had just left the session with my psychologist where I had talked a lot about my fears and soul aches. Yes, the soul hurts. And there are pains so excruciating that they seem to be endless. These pains got worse. I felt my body burn with each piece of nail that passed through my body.

I couldn't control any of the sensations. It was light laughter that couldn't turn into laughter. They were thin and subtle tears that could not flow. It was a burning pain, but there was no way out of my body.

When they were already exploring the genital region (understand more about tantra in a report by Rafaela Fleur) I already burned without having control of my skin. My soul started to burn. I felt every vibration trapped without escaping my pores. When hands touched my genital towards my chest, I experienced the same sensation as when I drowned in the sea of Piatã in 2006. Unforgettable sensation. The difficulty in controlling breathing was burning and burning. It didn't pass. I couldn't ask for help. I couldn't speak. My eyes were shaking.

Until the pain became a fireball. With my eyes closed, I saw a huge fireball in front of me. It was as if the full moon had been set on fire. The two continued to touch my body with transparent oils that slid on every hair on my body. The mouth was dry. I couldn't keep my breathing even. It was strong. The ball burned and started to darken.

The fireball gradually became a black ball. The glow turned to darkness. Beams of blue light began to enter the ball. I tried to open my eyes. In vain! I had no control over my body. In the ball the beams of light began to form faces, gestures and situations. They were my fears. It was the pains of my soul. Yes. Pain took shape. They saw faces. They materialized. I couldn't touch them. I tried, but I couldn't.

My Pandora's box of fears has been opened. They were all there before my eyes. It was a blue and black ball (it looked like a manga) that mixed in my mind. Fears came out of my soul. They crossed my mind and went to that ball. It was distressing and liberating. Seeing there before my closed eyes what hurt me, hurt and made me suffer. I never felt such pain. It was not a pain of the body it was of the soul. I felt my soul bleed.

It seemed that he would never leave that moment. It seemed that the pain was greater. They seemed to dominate me. But at one point, a stronger touch touched my heart chakra. It was an impulse as if my heart was being revived by paramedics. My arms involuntarily went up. They gained strength to dissipate the ball. Yes. I managed to clear my fears. They seemed soluble. The ball of fears turned into positivity. New shapes and colors came before my eyes - which still did not have the strength to be opened.

I felt empty. It is as if all fears are gone. It is as if the soul has been purified. I was static. Immobile. No reactions to everything. I couldn't 'get back to me'. But it was shaking. There was a light laugh. The feeling of having seen all those fears before me and having the power to purge them showed that I could do this in real life. The metaphor of that moment has guided me ever since.

Mahaprabhu had to offer me water. Satta had to welcome me. I needed to wake up and go back to reality. When I got up from the mat the voice didn't come. I couldn't reconnect with the real universe. I wanted to regain the power to purge my fears with my hands. I wanted to heal my soul more simply.

I had to take a cold shower until I woke up physically at that moment. I needed hugs from the two therapists. Maybe they didn't even know at that moment what had happened to me. Pandora's box had been opened, turned and released.

The massage helped to heal the wounds of my soul. It is a fact that since then many pains have continued and even returned. But they came back in the form of a scar. They are bitter marks. They held on to my soul. They are wounds that leave marks and learnings. These are moments, situations and circumstances that have torn the body apart and made unprintable records in my soul. They are painful scars, but I know that I have the power to control them.

Having the perception of these fears, pains and anguish before my eyes made me spend the last few days very reflective. I started to see my fears in another way. I started to see my anxieties and regrets in another way. Tantric massage gave me an impulse to make important decisions: painful, difficult, but necessary so that the soul could be healed little by little.

Pains took other forms. The pain of goodbye, the pain of disappointment, the pain of sadness, the pain of life, the pain of longing, the pain of absence, the pain of frustration, the pain of love… .They began to form scars. Yes, the scars sting and burn. But now I have the perception that the light will become a breath of time. One hour will become calm and peace. And it only depends on one person: I.

See the full story on the original page (Correio24horas)

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