What the vagina has to tell you
Female orgasm as a creative healing practice
posted by Camila Fraga
Medium
on Claudia
I went to find a tantric therapist. In the last few weeks, studying about female sexuality, the word "tantra" has been recurring in the studies I read on the subject. The idea that a woman should enter into herself and not depend on the other was something that was always one of my principles, but that was almost never put into practice.
After all, it is very difficult to release some types of memories and patterns that are clearly imposed by society. Not to mention that, female sexuality, not much studied, is not widespread. The idea that a man needs to make a woman come is quite dangerous in many ways. Especially because the orgasm is something of yours and needs to be discovered and experienced first with you, then with the other.
I knew I was going on this kind of path now, from tantra, because I was prepared for it. I had organized my mind for new experiences and built it over time. I felt a little more free than usual and radiated by a creative power that had long since faded in me.
The house (located near the Paraíso subway, São Paulo), where the appointments take place, is cozy and beautiful. Several plants adorned the environment, with a beautiful garden right at the entrance. I waited for a while, until Cláudia found me there in front. I had reached her because of a facebook group. I explained that I was writing about female processes and tantra was a theme that was present in several studies.
Cláudia is a young and energetic woman. She gave me a hug and we sat across from each other. I asked to record the conversation and she accepted.
In less than a few minutes, he told me something that matched several things I had read and experienced: “The woman needs to understand that the orgasm is hers. The man may have helped her get there, but the orgasm is hers. Don't set expectations on people or things. It's just you. Be whole. Don't be dependent on the other. We have to learn how to let go. Really work and live it. When something is very good, you want to retain it. We fall into old patterns, from our childhood, from lack, when the mother breaks the bond with us. We have to work on this dependency ”.
Maybe that was what I needed to hear at that point. I knew that sometimes it was difficult to let go of some patterns. And even feelings, even if we don't understand them very well at first. The truth is that when people are not prepared to experience their sexualities deeply (which they usually are not, due to all these years when the predominant learning about sex is pornography), they will simply do everything to sabotage the situation.
“In tantra, the body responds in a completely different way. The stimuli are different. The way you access orgasm and pleasure is completely different. You change the patterns with which you have consolidated habits ”.
We have many established standards about sex, but the biggest taboo of all is still female orgasm. Orgasm is a source of power for women, where they access their most creative energy, their confidence, their self-esteem and their self-love. According to Naomi Wolf, “the vagina provides women with the sensations that lead them to create, explore, communicate, conquer and transcend. (…) The truth is that a well-treated vagina is a means that releases, in the female brain, what we can call, without exaggeration, chemical components of the meaning of life ”. So why, even with all sexual liberation, are women still not experiencing this full orgasm? Is it because men do not know what to do with their bodies or also because they themselves are bound by orgasmic prejudices and do not fully experience their own bodies?
“Whose orgasm is it? It is ours! You will have to make fun of anyone in order to get to know your body. The responsibility is yours too. I have noticed this type of behavior a lot. Is sex done alone? ”.
Cláudia clarified some interesting things about tantra. For example, tantra's work focuses on other issues. It is not just orgasm. He, by the way, is the last thing. To be experienced in its depth, it is necessary to first work on self-esteem, recognition and the patterns that are there in the subconscious that comes to the fore during the massage. “It moves all the structures. The person begins to access memories. Some go into catharsis during the process ”.
“Each therapist attends in a different way, depending on the interactor's complaint. The first massage will be on the second level (Ecstasy) which is the skin's stimulus and after Yoni (Vulva). After the woman is receptive to the touch, the maneuvers will be performed on the vulva and the use of bullet in a non-invasive way to help in the perception and growth of the orgastic wave. The energetic movement starts from the first touch and gradually increases for the use of bullet".
These stimuli are usually contrary to what you are used to, that is, orgasm is accessed in another way.
Orgasm is a means of release. But, because of how sexuality is portrayed today, we end up having the wrong notion that orgasm is just a momentary state of ecstasy, without worrying about our bodies and our energies. The body is ours and needs to be cared for, listened to, loved. We need to understand that we do release things, that we do have ecstasy, but that it is also a creative power and that the more we work on it, the more brightness and energy we will have in us.
Cláudia looked me in the eye while telling all those stories about women and their difficulties in facing their sexualities in a positive way. I was even more interested when she started to explain to me that in some points of tantra, the energy is transformed into creative peaks. This energy is carried to other chakras in the body.
“We work with loading and not unloading. We guide this load. When you move up the chakras, it distributes the energy in your body. The energy comes and goes. We are loading and unloading. In ordinary orgasm, only discharge occurs, so you end up with that energy. This energy does not go directly to creativity, nor to the good things you want. A client has already said that she sleeps less, has more energy, is happier and happier ”.
Of course, you need to have a trusted therapist who knows how to conduct energy.
She took all my doubts about the practice. A kind of energetic connectivity (which I had been “lucky” to have in recent times) took over the room, as we began to share personal experiences.
That was when I realized that what I had been experiencing was not luck. All the positive things that were happening were actually the result of my own work with myself. I was allowing myself to these energies.
We gave a long hug before I left and scheduled my session for 1 week.
“You see the growth and you start working on sexuality completely. Enjoyment is a bad word in Brazil. But it has to do with the celebration of life. How's your coming?
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