Enhance sexual pleasure using the secrets of tantra

In childhood, sex is often a mysterious subject, surrounded by taboos. In adolescence, when we put into practice the search for pleasure for two, the discovery is so strong that we just want more and more. Maturity, however, arrives and, with time, we realize that just the quantity does not satisfy us. More than a lot of sex, we want quality sex. Despite the universal desire for pleasure, through exchange, however, who can honestly say that he feels free, light and loose and completely satisfied within four walls?

Before blaming the partner or even the lack thereof, it is worth trying to see sex from another perspective: that of tantra. According to this complex of philosophical concepts about life that arose more than 5 years ago in the region of Kashmir, northern Pakistan and India, sex has the potential to put us in contact with our vital energy, that of the other and yet develop self-knowledge and true intimacy. The key, say the Tantrics, is to change the way we relate to sexuality. And, of course, there are ancient techniques of touch, breath control and meditations that promise to lead practitioners to intense sensations and orgasms never experienced before.

São Paulo lawyer Mara Linhares, 33, has been practicing tantra with her husband for three years. Before that period, they were about to split up, as they were frustrated by the fact that Mara did not experience orgasm during sex. "I just couldn't get there, despite being married for five years," she says. Nominated by a friend, she decided to go to a tantric center. There, a therapist taught her and her husband how to awaken powerful orgasms in each other's bodies. “I came to cry many times, because the sensation of orgasm is very intense, to the point of causing several spasms. There are waves circulating throughout the body. You lose track of time, space, ”he says. When transposing knowledge into intimate moments, the couple also learned to invest in comfortable positions, precisely to be able to prolong sexual union. Changing positions at all times, in fact, impairs the process of interiorization and perception of sensations and, consequently, the attainment of pleasure. When the fit is less wide, this is a fundamental difference from tantra to the Kama Sutra, giving and receiving pleasure becomes natural, without the need to be a performer. Tantric couples, in fact, usually spend hours just looking at each other and lightly touching their partner's body before penetration. What guides the rhythm is, above all, affection and care; never the ego's concern for virility and the like.

The Brazilian Deva Nishok, creator of the tantric center Metamorfose, present in several capitals of the country, says that tantra stimulates the development of sexuality in ways that are not normally explored: “People tend to be sexually aroused through visual stimuli and fantasies that they act in the left cerebral hemisphere, descend through the medulla and cause a response in the sexual organs ”, he says. “In tantra, the trigger for arousal comes neither from visual stimuli nor from erotic fantasies, but from the perception of the other's touch on the body itself. When the “fantasize to get excited” pattern is broken and the touch is allowed to command the party, the right cerebral hemisphere is mobilized. With him in the lead, there is no room for rationalizations, judgments or concern with performance. Just to enjoy it ”, he adds.

In addition to suggesting that we get excited through touch and not fantasy or visual stimuli, tantra also seeks a change in pattern in relation to the way we touch the other. During massages, the entire skin should be stimulated in a smooth and continuous way. “It is necessary to awaken the entire epidermis for pleasure and not just the genital region”, emphasizes Evandro Palma, a São Paulo native, tantric therapist and coordinator of the Metamorfose center. Taking the focus off just the sexual organs, he says, is essential to integrate all parts of the body, letting sexual energy flow and rise to the upper chakras. "Only when the whole body vibrates with excitement can the sexual organs be touched," he adds.

This makes the tantric view of masturbation quite different from what we are used to hearing. Do you remember sexologists saying that touching your own body is a way of getting to know yourself better and gain intimacy with yourself? In tantra, the conversation is different. “Masturbation movements are repetitive, addictive, localized and conditioning. And their result is a weak and ephemeral sensation ”, says Evandro Palma, from São Paulo. He also says that masturbation causes the body to create a limited sensory memory, associating pleasure only with genital manipulation.

In tantra the quickie has no time

Changing the way of expressing your sexuality was a difficult journey for Fernando de Oliveira, 35, from Minas Gerais. The engineer suffered from premature ejaculation and had to learn to slow down in order to find pleasure. “Having sex for me was like riding a roller coaster. Fast, frantic. I felt very anxious, I couldn't control anything. The orgasm turned out to be a weak outlet to relieve me. And then I got tired and frustrated, ”he says. “The relationship between sex and anxiety is very common and tantra seeks to untie it. When sex becomes tense and mechanical, there are two people who do not communicate. It's sad, but most of them are related ”, says Isabelle Moura, tantric therapist at Companhia do Ser center. In Fernando's case, learning to relax, through meditation and deep breathing exercises, was essential to undermine the anxiety that led to premature ejaculation and frustration. Getting to know your own body as well: “I discovered, in a massage in which the therapist moved the fingertips all over my skin, from the feet to the head, that I could feel a lot of pleasure with the whole body. And that the stimuli at a slower speed helped me to control the time to have an orgasm. Aside from the fact that he was much stronger, ”he says.

When it started dating, it was difficult to tell the girl who attended a tantric center. "Do you pay for a woman to make you come?" "Yes, but it's not what you're thinking ..." "My God! Do you go to a prostitution house? ” The way was to take Rafaela Zardini, 28, from Minas Gerais, to the center. “Although the therapist is wearing clothes and the patient cannot touch him, at first it was strange. It took me a long time to understand that it is possible to feel pleasure from a touch and from an experience unrelated to desire ”, she says. After the experience, the couple took a tantric course in which they learned how to touch the other's body with calm, care and attention focused on the present. Meditations using yantras - mandalas with geometric figures and floral patterns that represent the female deity - and techniques such as biodynamic vibration (standing in front of each other, with legs flexed for about 40 minutes) served to make sexual energy - also called kundalini - ascend to the upper chakras of the body. Fernando says that with three months of practice, premature ejaculation is gone. “We were able to unite the full potential of the body to feel pleasure with affection and, finally, with desire”, he says.

Transcendental orgasms

In the book The Function of Orgasm, the Ukrainian doctor and scientist Wilhelm Reich (1897-1957) developed the theory that, when it circulates unimpeded, sexual energy has the function of harmonizing the human body, generating a state of perennial health.

Indian guru Osho, who popularized tantra in the West in the 1960s, goes further. In the publication From Sex to Supraconsciousness (Cultrix publisher), he says that sex is man's most vibrant energy, but that it should not be an end in itself, but a path to the soul. But what would theoretically mundane sexual activity have to do with spirituality? “The tantric therapist touches the patient's body in order to stimulate the sexual energy to circulate through the chakras, releasing them from blockages. Everyone works, but above all, Muladhara, located in the perineum, Anahata (cardiac, known as the center of love) and Vishuddha (located in the throat, related to expression and communication) ”, explains Deva Nishok. “When these centers are aligned and the energy circulates freely, the person is able to access other levels of consciousness and perception. Then, during an orgasm, she can feel the primary source that connects us all, ”he adds. Nishok calls this an oceanic experience and says it has nothing to do with seduction, sensuality, or eroticism, but with the absence of the ego and connection with the whole, primarily spiritual values.

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Despite being a Buddhist, the 60-year-old retiree from Espírito Santo, Edite do Rosário, did not seek a tantric center behind the spiritual dimension of sex. “I wanted to rediscover myself sexually, but I didn't think it was possible, because I was in menopause”, he says. Tantra taught Edite that women are sacred goddesses because of the gift of motherhood and an infinite source of pleasure, regardless of age.

She says she was surprised to find pleasure in old age. “I was not used to it. Much less with the fact that the bodily sensations caused by massage sessions sometimes last for days ”, he says. According to therapist Evandro Palma, this is possible because the therapeutic touch releases endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin, hormones that cause pleasant sensations in the body. In the case of women in menopause, there is yet another advantage: oxytocin is also responsible for increasing intimate lubrication. “I thank the therapists who taught me to feel pleasure. And now I want to meet someone with whom to share this learning ”, he says. And without knowing it, it corroborates one of the philosophical maxims of tantra: that of seeking to share knowledge, pleasure and spread happiness around the world.

tantra versus kama sutra

It is not uncommon for people to confuse tantra with the Kama Sutra, or to think that one derives from the other. However, there is no direct relationship between the two. Emerged more than 5 years ago in the Kashmir region, tantra means “key”, “technique” and proposes the use of sexual energy to achieve new perceptions and spiritual dimensions. It is based on openness and receptivity, essentially feminine characteristics. In tantra, what is sought through touch techniques is to make sexual energy circulate throughout the entire body and only then mobilize it to the sexual organs. Before sex, the partners must touch each other a lot and, during, it is important that they look at each other in the eyes and stay in the most comfortable position possible. Kama means pleasure in Sanskrit and manual sutra. The Kama Sutra is an Indian text written by Vatsyayana Kamasutram, in the beginning of the 4th century, which brings a guide with sexual positions and types of kisses to obtain pleasure. In it, the focus is the sexual relationship itself and the interactive possibilities between the female and male bodies (even if not all of them are very comfortable there). Although Hindus consider love and pleasure to be one of the three pillars for spiritual elevation (the other two are dharma, religious merit, and artha, the acquisition of wealth), in the Kama Sutra there is no talk of sexual energy and how use it to ascend spiritually. While tantra presents techniques to unblock chakras and make skin and muscles more sensitive to this energy, the Kama Sutra seems to be another inspiration for the time to see.