Tantric Sex

Tantric sex is an experience of communion of bodies that uses the force of sexual energy to place us in altered states of perception and consciousness. Very present in non-dualistic tantric rituals, Maithuna as it is called in Sanskrit, is a meditative and ritualistic practice that seeks to bring to man the experience of connecting the internal atmosphere with the external atmosphere, dissolving the ego and identity in favor of the connection you can have with the entire universe. Just as we can dissolve our perception and transform our mind by observing the flame of a candle, we can follow a similar path by replacing the candle with intercourse with connection and presence.

It is very common to find in tantric texts the use of substances or artifacts to serve as the object of our meditation. Just as many classic Tantra lines use meats and wines for their ritualistic works, it is possible to use the presence of the other and the communication that happens spontaneously between the bodies to serve as a meditation instrument.

How is tantric sex in practice?

First of all, we need to understand that Tantra, although it mobilizes a very pleasurable force for the whole body, was never a hedonistic path. Even in tantric sex rituals, pleasure in Tantra was never an end in itself. Pleasure is just one of the many instruments that we have in our energetic, physical and emotional body to work and develop our consciousness. This means that, contrary to the common notion we have about sex, in tantric sex we do not have an objective, a goal, a purpose that falls entirely on pleasure. Pleasure can be a by-product of the activity whose purpose is always to expand our perception and our consciousness. Pleasure - like abstinence, resignation, moral conduct - has roadmaps and ways to develop throughout our bodies. Sexual pleasure activates our most primitive instincts and, it is very common - especially in a society like ours, in which sex is a tremendous taboo - that when we are activated by sexual pleasure that we simply give in to those instincts and, thus, that we act without thinking clearly about the consequences.

When we realize the intense pleasure that healthy sexuality is capable of providing, but we add a hint of humanity and movement of that energy to our consciousness, the sensations, perceptions and emotions that move in our body find new ways to express themselves . This causes our energy to move in other ways within our system, bringing balance and healing to our entire nervous system, causing reactive patterns that are unconsciously repeated to find new ways to express themselves.

Sex within Tantra is seen as a sacred, divine experience, capable of opening portals into our consciousness. It is lived with a lot of tranquility, with a lot of lightness and companionship. In tantric sex, the neurotic spontaneity that we experience in our sexuality gives way to complicity, to the genuine exchange between people who see the sexual experience as an opportunity to discover themselves. Nothing is imposed, everything is agreed in a sensory way, with presence and attention to the other's body.

Myths about tantric sex

"Tantric sex has to take hours." This is one of the most misconceptions about Maithuna practice. There is no such implication within Tantra, simply because there are no goals or objectives other than the sensory experience of perceiving yourself and the other. The practice of tantric sex is done without rush, without haste, without the goal of orgasm. And none of this means that she needs to last for hours to qualify in any way. The experience lasts as long as it should last, according to the experience and the proposal of the people who plunged into it. One practice is not better or worse than the other because it took less or longer. We need to understand this from the point of view of a spiritual path, without moralisms. Tantra believes that in order to be able to fish in the astral the soul of a Buddha or a being that can reach this plane with great potential for enlightenment, we need a conception with enough energy for that soul to be brought to a physical body in that planet. That is why experience, when it has this purpose, is an experience that needs especially more time, more stimuli and more energy being worked on in practice. None of this means that quick sex in the back of a car parked on the street is more or less sacred than a Maithuna practice. Tantra never made that kind of judgment, it just looks for a smarter way to use that energy, whatever its foundation.

"In Tantric Sex you cannot ejaculate." This myth goes hand in hand with the first. It brings a sense of performance that has absolutely no Tantra. In some specific Tantra rituals, semen, as well as saliva, menstrual blood and other substances were used as an instrument of the rituals. A lot in this case is confused with some Taoist ideas - that use sex not as an instrument of transcendence, but as a source of energy for more vitality terms - that suggest a restriction of ejaculation according to the age of the man so that he can maintain a healthier life. No, Tantra never mentioned even one line of his texts about ejaculating or not ejaculating. He says yes, that the sexual experience begins when we think about our partner, when we touch, when we smell, when we perceive the other with all our senses. Tantra takes the focus off ejaculation and penetration so that we can feel ourselves in several other aspects that, due to our neuroses, end up being disconnected from our sexuality in today's world.

"Tantric sex and Kama Sutra are the same thing."Nothing could be more different. The Kama Sutra is a manual of sexual etiquette that goes beyond mere positions for penetration. It is an extremely macho text that taught men how to dominate and subdue women in order to obtain their own satisfaction. Tantra never presented a manual on sex, never suggested positions or conducts to control the body or mind of the people who participate in its practices. On the contrary, most tantric texts exalt the role of women and place them in a position of sacredness and respect. Tantra recognizes that women have a much greater sexual strength than men and seeks to use that intelligence of the female body, again, as a meditation tool.

How to start practicing?

Given the large volume of misinformation that exists on the subject on the internet, the best way to start on the path of Tantric Sex is to seek a trained therapist to provide guidance. Even if you have no partner or partner, it is worth looking for a tantric meditation experience. There is a lot in Tantra to be experienced without the presence of a company and this whole path taken alone will make a big difference when the Maithuna experience is possible and becomes present.

But it is also possible to start your practice with a company. There are Tantra groups and workshops aimed specifically at couples in which it is possible to have different meditative sexual experiences.

It is important to note that all these works, when they are developed with seriousness and professionalism, will take the couple on a path that goes against fetishes and fantasies. It is very common to hear people asking if there are couples exchanges or group sex at a tantric sex workshop. No device that extols these mental patterns of extremely neurotic sexuality can be called Tantra. Tantra is moving towards sexual maturity, developing new sensations, a new perception of one's own body and the partner's body. This path calls for a more relaxed mind, more free from the paradigms that you already know and, above all, a mind that does not seek to be constantly stimulated during sexual experience. Tantra's healing potential lies right there; it removes the weight and force that sex exerts on our thoughts and that both shakes our mind and returns the force of sexual energy to the body, to the original sexual center of our system.

Perhaps the greatest benefit that tantric sex can bring to our sexuality is a deep state of relaxation. Masters and Johnson are sexuality researchers who, in the 60s, already pointed out the need for us to be deeply relaxed in order to have a healthy and satisfactory sexual response cycle.

As Tantra brings meditation to the sexual experience, little by little we learn to relax more and more in the experience. In physiological terms, we begin to activate and keep our parasympathetic nervous system present at the time of excitation, causing traumas, neuroses and sexual compulsions to lose the force of their influence not only on our behavior, but on our biochemistry as well. As we continue to meditate on the sexual experience, the body stops feeling anxious and distressed as it normally does, and our entire sensory apparatus works with more presence. Not only that, but all the muscles involved in the excitatory process end up responding better. Blood flow also follows the same logic and allows excitation to happen without disturbance.

The fact is that, once we dive into this path, we start to treat our body in a healthier way. We begin to look at sex with different eyes, to perceive penetration as a much more intimate attitude than we normally consider. The level of communion and exchange that is possible to achieve during a sexual experience becomes increasingly clear when we are not thinking about sex, performance or anything else that makes sexual activity feel like work. When we take all that pressure off the scene and add meditation, sex gains many qualities. And that is a path of no return.